Me vs Me again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 1000, Nov 8, 2012.

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  1. 1000

    1000 Member

    been up all night giving myself a hard time, I have done this for a long time and the me that wins is a failure. My life for what its worth I have been strong for everyone else because that is my role but secretly inside I continually shred myself to bits. The times it gets to much and I have acted on my thoughts are obviously a failure because I am still here thrashing myself. When I feel okish I am full of disapointment with myself because I have tried to end early, now I am old there is not much time left and with my experience I have found some peace that I have the means and not too many people will be bothered what I do and their life would be better off without me in it. I really feel I will be less of a disapointment if I am not here.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry you have had another bad night. When you can't sleep try visiting chat, if there is nobody in chat try the coffee house forum - there are a lot of random threads there for 1 word entries and to help you distract yourself. Check out antiquites sub forum where lots of people have some issues about getting older and dealing with feeling less important or useful.

    When debating yourself you will always lose - no matter which half of you wins half of you loses too so it is a difficult place to come out ahead. Try sharing the thoughts and getting some input on ways to improve things.

    Take Care and Be Safe

  3. 1000

    1000 Member

    Thankyou NYJmpMaster, I have had a few hours on the phone with the Samaritans that seems to refocus the thoughts slightly, still up at silly oclock but not overtly wanting to off, SF has helped because I do not feel alone with my thoughts.
  4. slcsportschick

    slcsportschick Active Member

    (((hugs to you))) I'm sorry you're feeling like that, hun. SF is wonderful, to help one not feel alone. It really is a life saver. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.
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