Me

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by allvr00, Jul 23, 2014.

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  1. allvr00

    allvr00 Member

    Hello,

    I'm fighting depressions and possibly bipolar 2. I have a history of depression and superstardom. I was hospitalized in 1989 for suicidal thoughts/intents (although I didn't take any actions). And since then have struggled off / on with depression. But have always also been Type A super star at work and as a single mom.

    I got sick in 2008 with a chronic illness and after adjusting to my new life, I had NO NO NO depressions until Jan 2013. Then they started randomly appearing again. I finally went into a counselor in March 2014 when the suicidal thoughts took over my brain. Scared myself.

    Since then, both my counselor and primary dr are thinking its really bipolar 2. I'm on prozac........funny thing, after about 5-6 weeks of it I was doing so well, I thought I didn't really need it. After all, I had snapped out of my depression the day before I started the prozac. So I stopped taking it and was even debating discontinuing my counseling......until last week when I crashed again. HAHAHA, guess I do need medication. So I am seeing a psych next week to look at better medication management since my primary dr is limited in his expertise of psych meds.

    I have 3 adult children and 1 grandson (2 more on the way). They keep me alive when I want to give up. I could not hurt them by leaving. But boy do I want to give up!

    Happy Happy days to me!
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi welcome to the forum.

    You are a deserving person who deserves to live especially for your grandson. I'm sorry that you are feeling low at the moment but please DO NOT do anything. Yes, life is tough and from what you have said you have achieved a lot. So it's ok to be down in your life but for your family sake just be around as they will not be able to function without you.

    You seem to be a very nice person who deserves the some care and support as well rather others having you as their rock. You should be proud in what you have achieved and never think anything less. You can be down and that's ok.

    I implore that you DO NOT DO anything but speak to someone for support or guidance. I admire your courage to post here for support. I strongly recommend that you continue to post here as people going their own crisis can understand and help you at the same time. Please take care and I hope this post helps you. Remember I might be a stranger in this world but I care enough for others not to suffer alone.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 24, 2014
  3. allvr00

    allvr00 Member

    Thanks. I chose to reach out to others who understand until I get into the dr next week. It's hard because I'm realizing I depend on my kids for emotional stability but they have own lives so I try not to bug them. But they know what's going on and I hung out with my son and his friend this evening so that helps.

    Trying to focus on one moment at a time. I'm not planning anything. Just the thoughts are ANNOYING!!!

    Thanks again for listening.
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, thanks for the reply. Always here to listen to others and give them support. Take care and just one day at a time.
     
  5. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    :welcome_mouse: to SF Allvr00

    :freehug:
     
  6. Concrete_Angel

    Concrete_Angel Forum Buddy

    Welcome to the site allvr00 :)
     
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