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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by PaulSWBrum, Jul 23, 2009.

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  1. PaulSWBrum

    PaulSWBrum Member

    56 yr old guy, I pretty well lead a reclusive lifestyle since my partner left me 2 years ago. Have shut the world out...only go out of door to see doc and psychiatrist.

    Oct 2006 - Complete mental breakdown due to work crap...didn't speak for 3 months after that

    Jan 2007 - diagnosed as having severe clinical depression - admitted to the Priory in Birmingham for 6 weeks - achieved absolutely nothing.

    July 2007 - tried to top myself. <mod edit-gentlelady-Methods>and went to bed - theory was my heart would slow to a stop and I would die peacefully. Partner wanted a drink in the middle of the night, found empty packets in bin. 6 days in intensive care -- 2 weeks in hospital. Woke up 4 days later wondering what the hell I was doing in hospital...

    Bounced along at the bottom ever since. Seem to have slipped down yet another gear over the last month or so...

    Last week - bought some more of those steroids from abroad (Doctor won't prescibe them to me anymore...funny that...)

    No one around to find the empty packets anymore...

    The only thing that distresses me is that there will be no one at my funeral.

    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 26, 2009
  2. PaulSWBrum

    PaulSWBrum Member

    No cries for help and no attention seeking here...

    When I do it I will just do it - will not be announcing it at all.

    I will just disappear...

    Forgot to say (for the pill collectors on here) currently on full dose Sertraline (200mg), ami sulphride and lithium...with some diazepham if I should need an emergency panic hit...
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 23, 2009
  3. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hi there.. and welcome 2 SF..
    i really hope u find some support here..like many of us have :)
  4. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    it is ok to seek help...you are human and it is an instinct to seek out others.Stop feeling bad about reaching out.((Hugs)) You have been through so much!I can only say I am here for you..you can pm me anytime..and vent here at SF as much as you need to.You do not have to go through this alone.
  5. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF! :)
    I'm sorry you're suffering, anytime you need to talk I'm just a PM away. :hug:
  6. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF Paul.

    :hug: xx
  7. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey Paul!

    Welcome to SF! You'll find a lot of caring people here who knows how it feels to be stuck in a severe depression. I've found a lot of help on here and I hope you do too! I'm sorry to hear about all that you went through! Is there anything specifically that you want to talk about besides the things that you mentioned?

    I'd advise you to start a new thread in the suicide forum section to get the help that you so much deserve! You can ask advice, tell your story or just vent your anger towards life! Anything that you need to get out, you can post it. Don't feel guilty for wanting to get help. That's like feeling guilty for wanting to live and it definitely isn't attention seeking. Attention seeking is to make up problems that you don't have in order for some attention. You'll find little of that going on here.

    And if you'd like someone to talk to, feel free to pm me! Take care!

  8. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome to SF. Hope you find the support you need here
  9. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you've been through a lot.. Hope you can find comfort on SF :D
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hey Paul, welcome to SF. I know there isn't much that I can say that hasn't already been said. But if you ever feel like talking, you can PM me anytime. I hope you come back and talk, let us try to help you.
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf :D
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Paul.. I was like you when I became a member..I was on suicide watch for the first year..I still have SI and I am an isolationist so I know what you are going thru..The members here really care how you are doing.. Please keep posting...
  13. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    hi paul :hug: welcome to the forum
    i'm sorry things haven't been going well for you at all
    i hope you find all the help and support you need here :)
    if you ever need anything, i'm always here :heart:
    triggs xx
  14. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums.
  15. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum Paul. I hope you really take the time to consider your options before you do anything resulting in permanent harm to yourself. When depression takes over, your mind no longer thinks clearly. Please take care and stay safe. :hug:
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