me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by tainted-angel, Oct 26, 2009.

  1. tainted-angel

    tainted-angel Well-Known Member

    im so angry at myself... no.. more disappointed...
    I just wish i could be the real me... the true me! to everyone.... im sick of hidin behind all this shit

    I just want people to like me for who i am, and not for what i seem to be! which sounds so stupid...
    like now.. on chat... i wish i could answer people honestly... tell them what i realy am thinkin... or what im really feelin... it sounds so uckin stupid!!!
    I mean, why should i care what people think of me?? why should i try all the time to please them... do what they think...say what they think..and agree with it, even though, every part of me is screaming out inside to say no... to disagree!!
    Fuck... and its so petty and stupid what im annoying myself over right now...
    But why?!?!
    i just wanna be me! :(
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Being able to say no or to disagree has been one of the hardest accomplishments I have striven for. Even at that, I succeed about 75% of the time. The other 25% I attribute to depression and feeling vulnerable and I let it go.

    Keep a log of these things and write down what you said compared to how you really feel about it. Then re-write how you really feel as a statement you can say to another person.

    You may not be able to do it at first but don't worry about that. As you collect of list of answers you can decide which ones are small things and you start actual practice with the small things.

    I sometimes panic after doing this. When I do panic, I congratulate myself for saying what I wanted to say. To thine own self be true.

    :hug: