Me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SoSweet, Aug 14, 2006.

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  1. SoSweet

    SoSweet Member

    (I cannot think of a truly appropriate title)

    Before I begin, I'd just like to state that I do not believe in God as an entity, but rather as a concept that exists to spark hope into those still able to believe him.

    I haven't particularly had any normal suicidal thoughts, (by normal, I mean what I believe could be considered stereotypical). Instead I'll sometimes (only when alone however) just think of how much easier it would be to just kill myself, I acknowledge the fact that I am loved/cared for and I would be missed, but selfish thoughts of naive realism often persist in my head (If I no longer exist to perceive them, then they cannot care). I have no real trouble's in my life that I am aware of (besides whatever depression/joy I feel as a result of my perceived loneliness), however recently I've been having problems with motivation, I see no sure positive reason for living in the future, only possibilities, and even those have little to no appeal. I consider death to be similar to sleep, in the sense that the body may grow weary, and then all that follows is oblivion.
    It's rare I give a real smile to anyone these days, I will simply give friends a courtesy laugh or smile, to keep them comfortable. The only things that still keep me truly comfortable is, music, pictures I sometimes talk to (Just as a religious person may speak to Jesus, or pictures of a deceased loved one), and the movie All About Lily Chou Chou.

    I apoligise if it comes off as complex, I often get lost in my own thought and this is usually present in my writing, however I myself am often unaware of it.
     
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Ha wow that was deep. I know how you feel... there are times when I realize the over average..ness of my life..... and I don't think life is worth going on. Mainly because I don't see my life get better......

    I don't know why it is like that.... but that is the way things are.... so you can either accept it or change it the choice is yours... I think...

    Maybe you can take my path of beliefe... what with nature and survival of the fittest. Those of us who are not the fitest get suicidal thoughts.... but that is me...
     
  3. DoubledStratum

    DoubledStratum Well-Known Member

    I know someone who is what I would describe as "perfect". He's depressed and has more than considered suicide.

    It can happen to anyone, it seems.

    SoSweet, you sound like you enjoy philosophy. It's very interesting to think about this stuff when there's little else to do, isn't it? ^__^

    However, persistant low mood is not quite as fun. Is there anything you can do about that? :sad:
     
  4. ShadyMalingerer

    ShadyMalingerer Active Member

    I know how you feel too. I also don't see anything getting better in my life, but then I realise that I haven't really got any excuses, because I'm not initiating any change. What do you think?
     
  5. SoSweet

    SoSweet Member

    I'm not really sure what to change, since most of it is just in my head (I believe).

    And yes, I do enjoy Philosophy, however only really the aspects open to subjectivity (As in things that may differ in substance according to opinion, for example self developed theories)

    As for the persistent low mood, if i get enough free time, I can usually calm myself with music for a while.
     
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