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Axiom

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#1
i am feeling so tired right now.. typing on here wakes me up.. i wanted to slit my wrist for the first time in a long time its not in mmy face right now i cant move but im ok just posting dont want to miss the opportunities dont want them me to go away and end posting helps me run away silence calls me i believe .. i wish someone could fixme
silence releases me and no one is here except whats fading i feel like my options asre gone
 

may71

Well-Known Member
#2
idk, maybe you can find a way to get better.

so idk what your situation is right now, any treatments, etc.

I can try to give you my 2 cents if you can explain what is going on

I hope that you can feel better!

:hug:
 

Axiom

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#3
Thanks for the reply :) Im feeling much better, but then again there are people around me right now so I just put on a face. Can't exactly be sure how I feel compeltely but im alright. Just a very spirally moment that felt like it was going deeper but walls and limitations were closing in containing and sufficating me. I felt like I wanted to escape before that happened.

It's just alot of shit happening around me. Im unhappy, and I've made some bad decisions that are keeping me low. I felt very bad though, actually was kinda scared, so I posted in here, which I rarely rarely do. But I suppose it helped because I could atleast tell myself that I was in this state when I normally am in a more positive state. I donno.. Im not touching with it right now, though that doesnt mean Im not in it.

I really appricate the reply, it's very sweet of you. Thankyou again.
 

may71

Well-Known Member
#4
oh, hey, you're welcome!

sometimes bad decisions are reversible. or sometimes we can take wrong turns, but later end up in the right place
 

Axiom

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#5
true they are reversable in some cases, but sometimes they're not. But it's how we live through them and move past them that counts. As far as learning and growing and not surrendering to their distasteful ways or perceptions and concepts on life.
Things are just getting bad, overall in every small thing. Down to me putting the same colour socks on or shaving or eating or what have you. The care is almost gone, but there are times like right now and when i talk to certain people that the care is there. And a raw want forms aswell. I just don't know what I want. I know I should try and hone that want into wanting to look after myself and the surrounding area around me, but that's so draining. But maybe it'll help a bit? Like a schedule or routine or something that I have to hit every day at a certain time. .. pushing aside the absolute distaste I have for routine,.. i suppose I should have some. I donno. Ive let everything fall to the floor simply because i feel at times like I cant hold anything up, even my own self. The only reason I am not dead is because I don't want to die, I've almost never have except for, some very bad and honest times. Which makes me wonder if im just lying to myself right now or blocking itout. Or if the stimulation from all my issues is creating a reality where it seems that leaving forever and ceasing to exist is my only honest salvation.

I donno.
 
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