Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by *sparkle*, Sep 10, 2011.

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  1. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    i really don't know whats wrong with me :dry: im tired maybe thats the answer. just tired in so many ways :(

    im not suicidal. i just feel resigned to the way things are almost. i feel sad. and weirdly i feel unwanted and unloved. my mind convinces myself (rightly or wrongly) that nobody really wants me and those that say they do - even my husband and family - don't really.

    husband i KNOW is bound to get fed up with my insecurities at some point. but its all i feel capable of. i simply can not convince myself that anyone would stay with me or be my friend out of choice.

    i love my family and friends so much but my stupid thought processes ruin so much for me :(

    i guess yea - i really do hate myself a lot of the time.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Aaww!! sparkle we lovs ya!
    I'm sorry you feel that way...

    I understand what you're saying..I am the same way..
    I know it's my thought processes and am working hard on CBT
    wish we'd learnt it when we were young
    glad you are able to share with us
    :i'm sorry: :arms:
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Depression and introspection often cause this feeling.
    I have no remedy or cure other than loving yourself that extra bit more till it passes.
    Give yourself mental hugs and remember one person loves you unconditionally, your lovely baby.
    Sends a :hug: for good measure.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun know that thought process and it sucks Just know those thoughts are wrong hun so many people care about you lots here on sf as well and like Terry said that precious baby will always love you unconditionally h ugs
  5. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    We can be much more caring, loving and forgiving toward our love ones than toward ourselves. I am pretty sure you would not expect for your family and friends to be flawless before they deserve your love. Sometimes its about to think about ourselves and behave toward ourselves with the understanding and kindness we extent to others.
  6. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    thanks for your time replying

    thing is when i am in one of these moods that im not worth anything its like a self fulfilling prophecy - i then start behaving in such a way that nobody would want me - like have been trying to convince hubby that im not worth it. dunno got to stop this somehow :( :s
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I know you are going through some rough times now, but I hope you realize that your thoughts of being a person worthy of hate, are not shared...we care so much for you here, especially me, and feel so sad that you are going through these challanges...I am sure no one will tire of you, nor will they give up on are in my heart, and hope one day, that you cross the pond, to get the real hug you so much deserve
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 12, 2011
  8. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    big :hug: ty sadeyes ... wish i had your faith in me... am a bit lost for words today so will perhaps try a longer reply soon.
  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    YVW...and sending my caring
  10. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Sparkle -

    I think many of us have similar thought processes from time to time, or for some of us - most of the time.

    Is there any way that you could get away for a day or two - just for yourself? Or even half a day and go pamper yourself? Or to do what you love to do for a little while, whatever that may be? This just might help you a little bit, to raise your energy level a bit, have you feeling a bit better about yourself.

    Self hate can drain our energy quickly, and for me I know it leaves me feeling empty, has me questioning myself and others and just the whole shebang. One thing leads to another, and then another and so on.

    Please take care, so many here see and have expressed what a truly great person you are - listen to their wise words.

  11. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    That's exactly how I feel. I feel like all the caring toward me is out of pity.

    sparkle, I know it is hard to believe but I care for you not because you are a fellow survivor or because of pity. I care for you because I understand what you are feeling, and because you deserve kindness and caring because of who you are inside. I hope you can see that. :hug:
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