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Me

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by AspieEscort, Nov 27, 2011.

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  1. AspieEscort

    AspieEscort New Member

    Hello. My name is Jin, an 18 year old woman. I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I am a member of the Unification Church of Reverend Moon.

    I am a personal escort for a Gentelman's Club. Even as a child I would experience severe conditions of ennui and rage; leading me to break things.

    As I grew up I thought I was getting better - but I was probably just distracting myself more. I found friends, I found weed, I found old books, I found clothes, and I found sex.

    The past two years my 'attacks' have become more and more several, it usually starts as a complete lack of motivation that builds my frustration. I have trained myself to control it, though it can still affect my social interactions (a very important part of my job). But sometimes it is explosive and I feel like I cant do anything but let it run me...hate, anger, blind rage and a need to break everything around me. Last week I had a difficult conversation with my aunt and I ended breaking out every window in my flat; and I might have to face some criminal or civil charges due to the danger falling glass panes present.

    This is just one large example. IF I am frustrated with service at a food establishment I will just flip my tray over off the table and leave.

    I am self-medicating with marijuana and lorazepam; but the first gives me paranoia and the second makes it hard for me to converse because of memory problems (VERY important as an escort).

    II have a profound mistrust and even loathing of the AMA, the Psychiatric industry and their FDA/Patent Pharma schemes. I'm not an anti-chemical person, I just think they're realibly tested and the 'results' are misread, ignoring that closer analysis shows most anti-depressents are no more effective than sugar-pill, less effective than talk-therapy and dangerous to boot.

    I have tried talk-therapy with counselours and I found them conmdescending and ignorant. They obviously did not understand how different the reasoning and social life of an Aspie are compared to a 'normal' person; on top of their totally misunderstanding me and then trying to force me to fit into their DSM where I don't fit they were usually just plain pretentious liberals; who were more interested in soft-peddling left-wing panaceas than interacting with me as a person.

    I am hoping to fine someone I can actually talk to. I don't know what to expect, but this is getting out of control. If I can't manage my temper or my tears I'll lose my escort job and, because I WILL NOT ask my family or church for assistance that leaves being another crazy street hooker for me.
     
  2. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    Welcome to SF. I hope you find what you are looking for here on the site. If you ever need anything, feel free to PM me. <3
     
  3. AspieEscort

    AspieEscort New Member

    Thanks for your reply. I am having a really rough night tonight. I do not know who I would be able to talk to about it.
     
  4. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF!

    :hug:
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome to SF! I hope you find all the support you are looking for here :)
     
  6. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Hi Jin, welcome .. glad to have you with us now.. tc, Jim
     
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