Meaning of Friendship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by yous, Mar 27, 2011.

  1. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Most people I meet are online because those at work simply are not connected and my family is disperse and small. So I never gave it thought, but I always thought friendship was a reciprocating process to which each other has a connection and memory of each other. Like 'I remember when you told me you were sick, how are you feeling now?'

    However all my online friends have become just people who call up if they want to get together for an event or movie. When we are together they rarely ask about me and we just sit there watching the event and then go home afterwards until the next meet up . Is this a true friendship? Do you have friends that are just like this? Should I even consider them as friends? It feels so cold that we don't dive deeper into each other's lives. Don't people want a true friendship? I mean what is the meaning of just calling a person up to get together if they are not going to put the effort to know you? I feel it is sometimes like neighbors or coworkers getting together, but not friends. Tell me if I'm wrong to see this like that?
  2. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    The difference is that these people who only hook up to go to social events with others are merely acquaintances. People you just meet to have fun with, although they are also referred to as friends because you share time and memories together.

    Close friendships are a bit more substantial and denotes some emotional connection and backbone support between them. Usually more trustworthy and generally good for living a more satisfying life. But they also hurt more when they become ugly and divisive.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Sometimes me and my mates just hang, but we actually give a shit about whats going on in our respective lives.
    I can't imagine not asking how's things, what's happening etc. at some point in the day/evening.
    We share our troubles, our good times and yeah the "omg do u remember that" moments. :D
  4. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I never had a 'do you remember' moments. I've known most of these people for roughly 7 months to a year, but it is always just a casual 'how are you?' as in 'how are you today?' not 'how have you been?' and even if it was, it never goes further past just the 'fine.' We just sit there sometimes in long silences. I mean we have been together before and could have reminisience about it, but we don't. I sometimes encourage and add topics to talk about but they never really feel like talking. I figure what is the point to getting together? I could have just gone to the movies by myself for example.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Sounds like you need to start again.
    Either have it out with them, surely others must be thinking "is this it?"
    Or find some mates who actually really want to be mates.
    Friendship is about sharing your life not just your popcorn.
  6. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I want some friends like that. Just not too many, they do sound like they're in it for the convenience..

    Right now I'm stuck with these losers who refuse to do anything at all.
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Nothing wrong with that sort of connection but it's not really friendship or true friendship. Perhaps slowly cut your ties with them?
  8. Norman

    Norman New Member

    "What is a friend? A single soul, dwelling in two bodies" - Aristotle

    True friendship is perhaps the only relation that survives the trials and tribulations of time and remains unconditional. A unique blend of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship. Similar interests, mutual respect and strong attachment with each other are what friends share between each other. These are just the general traits of a friendship. To experience what is friendship, one must have true friends, who are indeed rare treasure.

    Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person. It is when you do not have to weigh your thoughts and measure words, before keeping it forth before your friend. It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assures to be your side in every emotional crisis. It is when you can sleep fighting and get another morning with a better understanding. Friendship is much beyond roaming together and sharing good moments, it is when someone comes to rescue you from the worst phase of life. Friendship is eternal.

    Different people have different definitions of friendship. For some, it is the trust in an individual that he / she won't hurt you. For others, it is unconditional love. There are some who feel that friendship is companionship. People form definitions based on the kind of experiences they have had. This is one relation that has been nurtured since time immemorial. There are famous stories about friends in mythologies of different religions all over the world. They say a person who has found a faithful friend has found a priceless treasure.

    Psychologically speaking, friendship may be defined as 'a dynamic, mutual relationship between two individuals. As children become friends, they negotiate boundaries within which both partners function'. This helps them to function like healthy individuals in life as they learn to draw a line as and when needed in a relation. This greatly helps in the emotional development of an individual. However, any relation needs constant nurturing and development from all the people that are involved in one. Friendship cannot survive if one person makes all the effort to sustain it without any mutual recognition from others.

    Since friendship starts the moment a child starts socializing, the kind of friends that the child chooses should be taken care of till the time he / she learns to differentiate between right and wrong. Wrong peers or lack of socializing can lead to severe psychological traumas and disorders, finally leading to social maladjustment. The correct peer group is essential for the development of the personality of a child. Both positive and negative experiences refine the personality of the individual. Thus it is essential that you find friends who are compatible with you on an emotional and psychological basis.
  9. Stormrider

    Stormrider Well-Known Member

    My problem is different, i have a few good friends and i know if i have a problem they would help me and they care about me but we don't meet a lot or do a lot of fun stuff together cause they are married and have kids, live together all that stuff. I just visit them a few times a month now and we eat together and watch a movie at home, help each other when we're having car problems, or need to do some work around their house.
    So i would actually be happy to have some more casual friends to do some sports with or go to a movie, or going out or just having a drink at a bar.
    But all things considered, i'd never trade my close friends for casual friends even if it seems like more fun for a short while.

    Maybe you can try to show some interest in some of their lives, sometimes people are affraid to open up to others, but if you show you're looking for a real friendship then maybe it'll be returned.Hang in a bar after a movie talk a bit about anything that's interesting to you or them, if you hear they need to get some work done or are moving,.. ask if they'd like you to help them...
    You'll never know untill you try.
    Just don't expect everyone you do things for(even heavy work without pay) to become a good friend or even return the favor.( I did a lot of stuff for people who still don't even care if i would be dead or alive)
    Still a close friendship is build over a long period of time. You can't be great friends overnight.

    Don't know if this helps in any way but they're just my thoughts on the subject.
  10. jasonkramer

    jasonkramer Well-Known Member

    sounds like you have friends to me just not close ones. i know a lot of people with many friends but i guarantee that in a crises they will not be able to rely on any of them. that seems to be a problem when your able to make a lot of friends.
  11. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    I don't have any either. But
    quality is better than quantity I definitely think.
    I'm still at a loss for close type of friends.
    But I feel like even having aquaintences,
    It still wouldn't be like having a few close friends.
    Nothing compares. Its like true love vs.
    Just settling for anyone to be happy.
    True love is better. :/ I hope you find
    a real close friend. Just don't give up :/