Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by normaljoe, Feb 24, 2014.

  1. normaljoe

    normaljoe Well-Known Member

    dislacimer for the first time i went on meds. (zoloft) I have this issue of trying to get back with my Exs. I am horrible for it but I just seem drawn to one in particular. we are actually good friends so its not like a creepy stalker thing. and I told her I plan to get out after deployment and about my leave coming up and she has been so happy to ask me to Skype and text and call me recently which prob. didnt help my infatuation. so I was skyping with her planning our trip to chicago and it gets brought up that she is still with her bf. immediately my heart was crushed (wouldnt be the first time with her, she doesnt know btw), i felt my heart sinking. after about 10 minutes feelings ranging from suicide to anger to disappointment I felt nothing. I was back to being spacey. I didnt hurt. It was all replaced by a bitter nausea. that was taken care of with tea. (chamomile if you must know) I am not sure where I am going with this. I am not sure I want this. but at the same time if I wasn't on the meds I would be going manic. I would have lost it. I am not sure why I am writing this but I am just not sure what to think. I just don't feel it. it sounds weird but i almost miss my depressed thoughts. now my mind is filled with nothing. its clouded with non thought if you can imagine such a thing.
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It does not sound like an unexpected effect of medications. That is there purpose to set a lower limit to the lows. In reality, that is what people mean when you are not taking meds and they say "you just need to get over it and not dwell on it". This would in fact be a perfect example of that - a girl that you are not currently dating talks you some, you are interested, but you find out she now has a boyfriend. It is not a atypical or strange occurrence, and you are not feeling and acting like it is - it was a disappointment that made you sad and you are not dwelling on it.

    Unfortunately people become addicted to strong emotions. That is why we watch scary movies and sad movies, that is why we take recreational drugs/alcohol (many of which are in fact depressants), and why we listen to sad music when we are already sad - to "ride the emotional wave". You said exactly what it is when saying you missed the depressed thoughts. The expression "they aren't happy unless they are miserable" was born out of this reason. The best solution is to look for ways to replace those huge down swings that bring the feeling of "being real" with something positive and learn to enjoy the upswings from happy and laughing and comedies. Unfortunately , it is far easier to prolong a major emotional wave down than up, so many people choose the easy route and force the low moods instead by dwelling on sad and negative, adding the alcohol to make it easier to prolong, and self destructive behaviors to ensure it does not get better.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Non thoughts that yes i can imagine it been there and sometimes it is a better place to be. Your ex has moved on hun you need to move on now ok something you have not accomplished yet I am glad you are on meds to help you stay stable and not go so manic I hope you create new dreams for YOU ok after deployment and not stay stuck in the old dreams Keep talking here ok it does help to k now you are being heard and you are not so alone in those thoughts hugs
  4. normaljoe

    normaljoe Well-Known Member

    I actually started experimenting with alcohol and Zoloft after that happened. it turns out it degrades Zolofts effects so yea never again. good call....