So... I had a meeting with a new job consultant, or what ever she was, I thought caseworker... but yeah. And yeah, I need to vent before I explode. I have been moved in the unemployment system (which I gather is probably a bit different here)... there's two groups. Those who can work no problem, and those who can't within the next months... I have been moved from the first to the second... (I haven't been capable of work for longer, but I wasn't aware of my rights and the consequences (still am not, really)) I had an initial meeting with a consultant within that group of unemployment yesterday... I was very nervous about that meeting, my anxiety was so bad... and most of all I was worried about myself messing up. "What if I stutter, what if I don't say what I need to, what if I cry??"... I didn't think to stress about the consultant being a mess... making me very unsure of my immediate future in the system. I showed up early, which gave me extra time to worry... I was met with around 10 people asking me why I was there, who I was waiting for etc... and was eventually told that the consultant was at least 10 minutes late. Well, she came. Shaking almost from stress and was very confusing to listen to. She had lost her bag, and bless, that is horrible! She just wouldn't shut up about it... Then we went through a questionnaire about my problems, and I had to tell her my life story... One major problem... she was foreign. (which is not the problem, at all) but the fact that she barely spoke the language was. I had to explain things several times, and it made me tell a lot less than I meant to, and she even tried to lighten the mood by making jokes about me having an abusive mother... which made me shut up... I didn't fully understand her either... though I really tried... I then had to help her with the computer... how to take a screen shot, and print a list, etc... Also, she seemed to not really believe the things I told her, she asked about previous employment... and I know a lot of her clients have a different academic story than mine, but I felt like she saw me as a fraud... when I told her I had worked at the hospital, and that I had been working as a PA for the Irish performers during Eurovision 2 years ago. So yeah... I have no idea where my case stands, what is going to happen... and I don't trust my case in her hands. I have a new meeting on Friday, with a group of specialists in different sides of stuff, one of them will be a psychologist that much I know... The idea of putting me in this group was that I could be spared for the next 6 months of intense solo therapy and DBT group... I can't handle a job as things are. And it's cute that they ask me when I will be cured... both of my mental troubles and my chronic condition.