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Meeting People, Using People?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by yous, Aug 23, 2010.

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  1. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Ok so I have tried my fair share of meeting new people this year just for the last heck of it. And did that go well for me? Of course not.

    In fact I would say I have met quite a variety of people, much to kicking myself for knowing already that people are nothing but backstabbing jerks who are self-absorbed and mindless. - Ok now that I have that out I want to get around to the topic of USING PEOPLE.

    I have a handful of self-righteous bigots who think they are GOD, but they have some sort of knowledge I want. So in order to get this I have to play their card since they have the upper hand. I have to whooo them with compliments and desires, and be this pet they have in order to get them to teach me what they know. It's not pretty. I feel REAL uncomfortable and sometimes to the point of hating myself because I feel like I'm the poor begging for money, which basically I am. I can't find this sort of help anywhere else. Not many are willing to help. Yet BIGOTS sometimes help because well frankly it makes them feel good. Yet in return I have to sacrifice quite a bit....does this make any sense at all? One false move on my part, and they have the upper hand to just tear me to pieces or ignore me....and I can't afford that if they have something I need or want. I know it sounds ridiculous to why not just go find someone else nicer to help out. But BELIEVE ME, there aren't that many people who would stick around to help.

    My question is, how far should I go to do all this? I mean I feel that I have to because it will help benefit me (in my career). And people have gone far, real far with getting a step up in life. How far would you go????

    This is driving me crazy because WHY are people so cruel?! :( I'm not the type to use people or be used! I wish it was more of a natural thing. I'm a very kind person, but I don't knock people down and call them names knowing they will want me in the end anyway. Yet these people do this?! Explain this to me!
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I dont know either...I seem to attract people who will use me when they are in a jam or bad time and then when all is well, they'll drop me like a rock and never help me if I so dare to be in a jam or a bad time....

    I'm just tired of getting the trouble to know them, be friends all for a "I'm sorry, I can't help you, I gotta do something"

    sometimes I think I'm better alone...but it gets lonely, so I get weak and keep the friendship I should have thrown in the garbage, so in a way, I deserve their abuse for enduring it...we all seem to have to pay for what we want...there's always a price...although with me I give it for free...and I never meet another me...
  3. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    What I can't understand is how people can be so heartless as to use people and not consider that this is another human being. You see what runs across my head is, that this person is offering their help, but I have nothing to offer them and so I feel bad and fall back. I think I either have or don't have this chemistry switch in my brain that flips on that has humanity whereas people just are self-absorbed ignorant.
  4. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I have been reading some of the threads and topics in this forum and something that always comes out with various people that feel lost is that

    "they feel a sense that there is no other way or nothing else better" so they allow themselves to be used.

    I relate to this.

    I feel I can't/won't find anything else better that will come along or I feel less worthy of something so I get used and treated poorly by people.

    How do I overcome this? I can i gain a sense of control over myself and self worth. I really feel nothing good else will come along for me. This is it.

    It's so dang hard to meet great people in my life. I'm getting older and it's hit a midlife crisis. How exactly can I stop being used by people?
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