Just found quite a lot of pills. Am home alone and VERY tempted to take them right now. Been in hospital from one overdose, why not make it two. Told my fucking mother not to have pills about and i walk in and find a fucking bag full of them, will teach her eh. I fucked up. What point is there living now? none what so ever. sitting her fucking crying. I deserve all the shit i get. I deserve the cuts on my arm right now and i deserve to one I'm about to do. I deserve to die. Was seriously considering it today. Pretty damn strong pills at that. Enough to do some serious damage. Not gonna stop cutting. I've lost everything. Everything that meant so fucking much to me. Because i got fucking drunk. Cut over and over again. Thats what i'm gonna do. Self destruction to the fullest because of this. I've lost the one person i truly loved and was so in love with. No point living anymore. Should leave their lives completely. I'm done.