Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LenaLunacy, May 21, 2008.

  1. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    So yea, i didn't really wanna put this in the suicide forum because whilst i do feel like killing myself right now, im pretty sure im safe, for now. And i don't wanna worry the friends on here i do have by making them think ima kill myself right now.
    I'm just so sick of my life at the moment. Im in the middle of A2 exams, so far i think i've failed them all miserably. Stupid panicking.
    My mom is jus leaving me to do everything around the house which is totally unfair, yea i'm home on study leave, but i need to revise. Yesterday i wanted to do some last min english revision, but i had so much stuff she left for me to do i didn't have time at all! You try and talk to her about it and she gets all snippy. I don't mind helpin a lil but not to this extent.
    I'm now looking after my 18th month niece full time thanks to my brother's suicide 3 months ago and her mothers abandonment of her. Which really isn't all that helpful.
    And my sisters are always needing something, i the middle child but i seem to be like the oldest child most of the time.
    My gran said today that i looked tired and seemed old before my time. Well yea i am, because i've had to do so much and take on so much that i'v had no time to enjoy teenhood.
    And i'm starting to wonder if its worth it in the long run?
    If this is all my life is gonna be, why bother, i mean really?
    I dont wanna kill myself yet, il jus go cut my wrists, im trying to keep going but i jus don't know how much longer i can keep this up without breaking down completely, and then who knows where i'll be postin.