Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ZombiePringle, Dec 3, 2010.

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  1. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Here's the thing... I've been basically miserable where I am for quite a while now. As you guys know I went to visit my girlfriend last week (3 hours from where I live) To be honest... Thats the closest that I've felt to feeling like I was actually home since I moved away from home 3 years ago. I just felt like I belonged there.. I've never fully felt like I belonged in Kansas City.

    I could move there but that would mean leaving behind my daughter and only getting to see her a couple days every month or 2.... Which I know would potentially hurt her... As was pointed out to me though.. Which would be better for my daughter? Me being miserable and barely managing to survive each day, but seeing my daughter everyday or me actually being happy and only seeing my daughter some of the time?

    Right now I'm completely unsure as to what the best option is... I also have a good job that pays well right now (although it causes me more stress, and people I work with tend to treat me horribly at times) but I'm sure I could find a decent job there too... I just really don't know...
  2. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    hey josh
    it sounds like your in a bind there,a choice of hapiness either way but its bringing you down thinking about it
    could you not meet half if your gf is three hours away move 1 and a 1/2 hours away from where you are now that way your within distance of everything special to you?
  3. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    honestly.. that could potentially make things worse. I already barely know anybody and if I were to move right in the middle I would kind of be stuck somewhere that I know absolutely nobody. Normally something like that could work but I just honestly think it could do a lot of harm in this situation.
  4. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    yeah i see what your saying,but if you barely know anyone where you are now moving 1 and a half hours away is not that far you can still visit either gf or child spend time with the people you do know and maybe make new friends.but if its not an option maybe you could talk to your gf about moving a bit closer?i feel it would be unfair to ask your ex and child to uproot not that she would?maybe spend one week in gf's city next in childs city but theres alot of coomuting for work in that probably?
  5. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Definitely can't ask my Girlfriend to move. She wanted to move here in 2 years. She's still in college. I really only have the 2 options... keep my job and stay here with my daughter in a place that kinda makes me miserable or move the 3 hours away get a job there and not be near my daughter everyday.. I suppose I could try and drive to see my daughter every other weekend but would need a car... its just such a complicated situation... If only it were easy for me to meet new people and what not... then I may still consider just staying in the middle but... I know how bad that would turn out for me. its either gotta be here or there..
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Let me ask you, would you move if she wasnt there?

    I see that you are at a hard spot you want to be there for your daughter (which is awesome) and you want to have a life to. How stressful for you.

    Lets see, have you tried maybe taking a few weekend trips down there first? I would also suggest finding a job before the move, it is soooo hard to find a good paying job right now, if there is any openings at all. Jobs are very scarce everywhere, how is the prices there, do you think you could afford it there? If your relationship doesnt work, would you want to move back?

    Is your ex okay with you taking your child that far away? What else is there for you to do, are there places you like to hang out, do you think it will be easy to make friends there?
  7. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Yes, I would move there even if there wasn't a relationship involved. I just spent 4 days there for thanksgiving. And it was quite great.. If I end up deciding to move there I would look for a job before I do anything. Maybe take a week to go there and just look for a job. Price-wise if I can find a decent enough job I could afford it... cost of living seems to be cheaper there.

    As for making friends there... I'm horrible at making friends no matter where I am. I'm just not the social type. As for my ex I don't know...
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