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Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Carpediem, Feb 2, 2011.

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  1. Carpediem

    Carpediem Member

    Sorry about my sudden leave of absence, I thought I was getting better and getting over recent events. Kinda prooved myself wrong though, I recently just tried to end it, up until then I had just cut and it made me feel somewhat better, I felt that I was expressing my feelings. This time was different and I just wanted it to stop...

    So yeh, I didn't succeed, and I'm unsure if I'm happy about that or not, I read people's stories on these forums and they are a lot more troublesome than mine, yet they are able to deal with it better than me, I just feel as though I'm a lost cause, I have certain great things in my life, such as my little sister who I adore, but there just over clouded by the bad parts in my life...

    I've recently taken a break from everything, my mum tries to be supportive but I can tell she is just scared out her mind, and it makes me feel more uncomfortable. If I didn't have a family I know I would of taken my life by now as I would feel less guilty, but If a person isn't happy in life, and feels that it would be better if it stopped, whats wrong with finishing it...
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and I am so glad you were not successful...what is going on for you? Please let us know...did you contact your doctor or therapist? This is the time to reach out and get the support you need...please PM me if I can help in any way...big hugs, J
  3. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Just as a thought experiment, what would you answer your little sister if she was coming to you telling you she want to "finish" it? Methink there is something wrong leaving in the life of those we love a gaping hole which cant never be filled. We have to live for ourselves but at the same time, we cant just brush under the carpet the people who care about us and how we affect them. Being happy is rarely a given, its something we have to work at, and loved ones are a darn good motivation to do so. Not that it is the only one, but it is one as good as any. And as they say, in a storm, any harbor will do.

    As Sadeyes told you, reach out for help!
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2011
  4. Carpediem

    Carpediem Member

    Few things, I recently broke up from a very close relationship. and the girl Who I was with then quickly moved on to one of my ex-best friends, I hear from my parents all the time that I should just move on but when you have been with someone for so long, adored them and strived to make them happy, it's hard and it hurts so much, then to have it rubbed in my face by him on a daily basis hurts even more. I was told to keep away from them all by someone on these forums and I understand what they said but there is a reason why I can't. The girl involved, Is my best friends sister, and we have been close friends since we was young kids. He has just gotten a child and we sort of rely on each other at times when we are feeling down, believe me if I could I would walk away, I would miss her, I do now, but this is torment.

    I have seen the doctor as I was admitted into hospital the night I tried to take my life, many people spoke to me but I just felt as though they where just judging me... I really am insecure.

    That's why I feel so guilty. Family means everything, but most of the time all I can feel is hurt, which I can't cope with well. A mod in chat told me today "life is about managing", I can't manage...

    Thank you both for the replies.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i too believe it or not wish this sadness could end but not at the expense of my family so i ask my T how do i go on with so much pain inside me. He says we do things that bring some joy to us hard because i don't know what that is. We talked and somehow he made me see a little clearer. You have to find something anything to help you want to stay You sister your family they are your anchors here and you can do things that will make them happy thus make you feel happy. I do get what your saying but i hope you get that there is no choice really not for me ihave to stay i cannot and will not pass the pain on. please get therapy okay it is a release for the sadness that is within you.
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