I do not know how to put my current feelings in to words, I will just say I am over life and do not plan on being around much longer. I guess suicide for me would be the easiest option, but it is not an option that I have not put a lot of thought in to. I have tried to see the positives in every situation but I am just too exhausted to keep lying to myself thinking everything will turn out ok. I feel comfortable in knowing that I will not have to struggle for much longer. I find it hard to communicate with others and express my emotions. I guess this in part is due to being enlisted in the military at a young age, upon leaving the military I used to hang out at a pub where ex military members used to hang out, no one would talk to each other but you felt comfortable in being around someone who had been through and seen similar things to what you had, I guess this is why I chose to come here. To be around other people who were going through similar problems to what I am. I will say thank you for letting me hang out here but I will not be around much longer.