MELODIE (i want to be with you!!!)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jcat, May 20, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    i was talking to a friend last night and some shit came up that i try not to think about. my best friend. it's one thing to mention her in passing, but i fucked up and went into some details. shit i haven't really thought about in a long time. fuck the last itme i cried was when she died... right now i just want to go and be with her. fuck evcerybody and everything here. i really want to get drunk and do a big shot of heroin. that way i won't have to feel this fucking pain... i fucking hate emotions. and they are fucking comingup. FUCK YOU get the fuck out of my fucking head... i was never even comfortably numb when i was using. the only thing that ever took the pain away was... fuck it who fucking cares if i justt disapear... nobody... i know i won't miss myself. i fucking miss melodie. i really want to be with her right now.
     
  2. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    fuck you all... i fucking thought you people were here to fucking help. i feel fucking vacant. i;m sitting here in the fucking dark and nobodys up. 130 in the fucking morning. i'm gone. mentally anyway. i fucking hate when i feel like this. it's been awhile. it's comforting though. i really don't care about anything at all. fuck everything. have a fucking nice day.
     
  3. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug:

    We are here to help. I know you're upset, but insulting us won't help :hug:

    Take care

    Joe
     
  4. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    sorry i',m just fucked up right now. i don't know
     
  5. freakin out

    freakin out Guest

    I'm so sorry I don't know what the hell has been going on with our chats.
    Anyway, I don't know what to say, you've made it this far and though you miss Melodie I'm sure she'd want you to stay here and make her proud, to keep her memory alive not just fade away. I know you're sad but it's going to pass. If you left, how would you know you could talk with her? How can we every be certain of other lives? Just be strong in there J darling, I'm gonna be here for you no metter what.
     
  6. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    thanks for the chats . they do help. i have episodes every oncce in a while and this is one of them. i've survived most of them without medical help. i'm still here.
     
  7. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    i was having a very bad time. thanks to everyone who was there for me to yell and sream and throw things at. i'm doing a little bit better now sorry if i offended anyone on this thread earlier.
     
  8. Tara

    Tara Guest

    Jcat. remember people are in different time zones, and not everyones gonna be online the same time at you.
    But we are all here to support you, and if shouting is how u want to deal with it, scream your lungs out!!

    I know you miss Melodie, and obviously you would. but you cant, and she wouldnt want you to give up on your life. You can get through it.
     
  9. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    oh i know about the time zones. thanks tara. sitting here by myself is quite depressing. then all the stuff that surfaced tonight is overwhelming. i am slowly.
     
  10. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    i know tara. thanks. it is depressing sitting here by myself all night by myself. theres always ppl here. it wasn't here that was screwed up, i am. i've been talking to someonn here for the last 3 hours. alon with posting at the same time.
     
  11. Tara

    Tara Guest

    i understand *hugs*

    How about putting on some lively music to bring you out of it. I know sometimes it makes u feel worse, but one song that fails to let me down is "candy man" by Christina Aguileria. You just gotta shake those hips!

    hope ur feeling at least a little bit better <3
     
  12. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    "sleep: its coming. good night everyone
     
  13. Tara

    Tara Guest

    have a nice sleep lovely :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.