This is the first time I noticed this thread or I would have responded sooner. I am Mem. I came back to SF about a week or so ago. I only reveiled myself to one Mod as I was trying to determine if it was healthy for me to come back or not so I needed a little time with a few posts and some time in chat.
On July 27th I made a serious suicide attempt via overdose. I didn't wake for two days and was in the hospital on the cardiology floor for a week. I then decided enough of this agony and comitted myself to the mental health floor for a few weeks. While there it was discovered I was actually bi-polar. Previously for 7 years doctors had treated me for depression as a result of PTSD and fed me mostly anti depressants, sedatives and sleeping pills. A top doctor (he is the head of the department) happened to get me as his patient and he switched me to bi-polar type drugs. Within a week the difference was noticable.
I no longer have panic attacks, my mood has stablized, I don't feel suicidal, I don't cut, I joined a support group, got a new therapist that specializes in bi-polar and am facing my PTSD as well. I am better than I have been since my live turned upside down in 1999. So you will see a different side of me on SF, more postive and back here to maybe touch just one life and make it better. I think my long experience and history of being rather "nutty" ( LOL) might help someone I hope. I chose a new name as you can see and 1961 is the year of my birth if you are wondering.
Mem is gone in a way. Think of her as a catipillar that was cocooned for 7 years and now finally blossoms into a healthy and beautiful butterfly. Its still me but I am on the right meds now, seeing the right doctors and have a great support system in place. I hope to give back hope to those on SF still struggling. I never thought I would ever feel normal and like many here went through many doctors and meds. It took a very long time but I finally got the help I needed so it can be done. Just never give up and if something doesn't work, try something else because you will find hope and help but you might have to work real hard to do so.
I look forward to chatting and emailing with old friends and meeting new ones. Thanks for caring about me and I hope I can do something for all of you, even if it is only to bring a smile to your face for just a moment. Thank you.
reborn 1961 (previously known as Mem/Memorialday 1999/Abby)