Memories keep coming back *may trigger

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Rockclimbinggirl, May 27, 2016.

  1. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Why do they keep coming back. I do not want to remember more. I hate the sensation of wanting to flee yet being frozen at the same time.

    They are making me anxious and making me want to self harm.
  2. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry your struggling with memories coming back new or old it's never easy. I'm sorry you have to re suffer these events in your life. I wish I knew a way to make it stop for you, but unfortanaly I don't.

    I understand wanting to run but being frozen in time. I'm sorry your feeling so anxious.
    I am sorry you felt like self harming but you don't deserve any more hurt. You didn't deserve any of the hurt you suffered.
    Please take care and try and be kind an gentle with yourself
    Rockclimbinggirl likes this.
  3. sunnypseudo

    sunnypseudo Well-Known Member

    From my own experience, when the memories come back, I believe its because a part of you is processing it out. I spent a few months feeling exactly like what you are describing. I ended up doing a lot of research on my physical involuntary reactions as well as psychological articles dealing with abuse. Myself, I have had to admit its effect on me and confront it. Its lessened quite a bit, but I know its probably not over. The thing is, you do not deserve anymore pain, SH does not counter the feeling, in the end it ends up feeding it more. It will cause more anxiety on top of the excisting anxiety. If you want to talk, please feel free to send me a message whenever, I log in at least once a day and I will respond. I am not an expert at all but i know exactly what you're describing and my heart hurts for you. Please be kind to yourself.
    Rockclimbinggirl likes this.
  4. blacknblue

    blacknblue Well-Known Member

    I share your pain and my heart pains for you. I too undergo these flashbacks daily - reliving over and over again the panic and anxiety.
    frozen in time and place. Despite lots of therapy my symptoms persist although they are now more manageable with the techniques I was taught. Rockclimbinggirl you will always remember but you do not need to SH and give back the power. Be gentle with yourself - you're precious