It can be one of the biggest ying and yang situations I will ever deal with. My memories can help me feel better but can just as likely throw me to the ground and kick me in the gut. Even the exact same memory. I think of a time I spent when I was so close to a friend and it brings a happiness to me but then I remember how it was a missed opportunity and how I have now lost it all and I fall so hard. It seems such a odd thing and such a curse but I seem to remember the things that I did wrong (or feel I did wrong) so much easier than the things that I did right. I remember how maybe if I did this instead of this, things could be different. Did I miss that signal or that opportunity or am I just imagining it all because I want it to be that way. I lay awake so often thinking about my past and kicking myself for not doing it differently. I wish I could just get out of my head but it has been the only thing I've always had my whole life. I never had the looks or the outgoingness or the people that will always be there, but I've always had my mind and the smarts. A lot of good they have done. I think too much and I know it but I just CAN'T STOP!!!!