Memories (Living inside your mind)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bigman2232, Jul 8, 2008.

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  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    It can be one of the biggest ying and yang situations I will ever deal with. My memories can help me feel better but can just as likely throw me to the ground and kick me in the gut. Even the exact same memory. I think of a time I spent when I was so close to a friend and it brings a happiness to me but then I remember how it was a missed opportunity and how I have now lost it all and I fall so hard.

    It seems such a odd thing and such a curse but I seem to remember the things that I did wrong (or feel I did wrong) so much easier than the things that I did right. I remember how maybe if I did this instead of this, things could be different.

    Did I miss that signal or that opportunity or am I just imagining it all because I want it to be that way. I lay awake so often thinking about my past and kicking myself for not doing it differently.

    I wish I could just get out of my head but it has been the only thing I've always had my whole life. I never had the looks or the outgoingness or the people that will always be there, but I've always had my mind and the smarts. A lot of good they have done. I think too much and I know it but I just CAN'T STOP!!!!
  2. silent_beast

    silent_beast Active Member

    Trust me, I know it may seem hard to do but relax. I understand your plight in every way. Memories can appear to be a double edged blade. But without memories, we would have to simply focus on the "now", our reality. Trying doing something that will deter your thoughts to something else, something more constructive. There is nothing wrong with being an intellectual, and though it seems many people are vain and only focus on looks, the people over those individuals are the ones better known for their intelligence. I know it's not easy thing to do in anyway, but please try.
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Stay with the good side of your memories. It is the coulda, woulda, shouldas that get us into trouble. You had reasons for doing things the way you did in the past and second guessing them won't make it better. Trust that you made the right decision at the time and go from there.
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