3:35 am and cant sleep, I see the faces of those ive lost. The ones ive hurt, the ones ive killed, and the ones I couldnt save. I see Barry, for those of you who have been here as long as I have or longer, you would remember Barry. Such a kind soul. I often wonder what it would have been like to actually meet him face to face. A year after we lost him(we as in SF chatters/bloggers) i was less than 20 miles from his home town on a buisness trip. If only he could have, or if only I could have....(insert something here). I think of Markus. The only child of a southern Minister, my best friend. A party/rave at my place that turned into a disaster. and now an angry minister/father, and a crying mother. To quote a very good stephen king movie..."Hell is repetition"...and if that is so, I believe that i am there now. I miss you my friends, and the many more that I have had to see die, and never had the chance of saving, let alone knowing.