Okay firstly let me explain, for some reason whenever I write something I spend ages getting the font right first, I dont know why but thats why its bold and whatever.
okay.
I know this doesn't belong here, but I want to talk about it.
As a little girl I had two sisters, Jemma and Laura, and a mum and a dad. My sister Laura was 2 years older than me and Jemma was 4 years older. My sister Laura was very very disabled. She was so sick that all the symptoms from all the different things she had meant the doctors couldnt work out what was wrong with her.
I loved Laura, we were best friends. I spent all my time with her, even though I was very young.
My earliest memory is when I was 5 and she died when I was 7. So I dont understand how I fell so entirely apart when now I only have scattered memories of 2 years.. have I used my sisters death as an excuse for attention and sympathy?
I doubt everything I think about her, right now Im listening to the song they played at her funeral ((John Martyn - May you never)) and crying because I miss her so much... 11 years on... she was so perfect and tiny and innocent. She had the softest skin and hair and I can still smell her.
I remember the way she laughed but I know most of the time she cried from the pain, I remember all sorts of little things...
My dad and my other sister Jemma now hate me because they think Ive used Lauras death as a reason to get ''all depressed''. Jemma told me only a few days ago that Ive made a martyr out of her, and a few years ago my dad gave me some of the bandages they used on laura to hold her down when she slept so she wouldnt hurt herself and told me to remember that his pain was much worse than mine.
Am i an attention seeker? I refer to her as the other half of my soul, more than that, almost all of me, im not even half a person since shes been gone. I talk to her and ask her opinion on things via a star and shes always right...
I remember holding her in my arms as she cried the night she died, i remember the eastenders theme tune, the rocking horse, the hospital beds, the 'my little pony princess' she was cremated with...
Oh god
Im sorry cos i know this isnt the right place for this because she didnt kill herself but i dont know what to think any more.
I even wrote a song about her (click here to download it) .. im so pathetic
okay.
I know this doesn't belong here, but I want to talk about it.
As a little girl I had two sisters, Jemma and Laura, and a mum and a dad. My sister Laura was 2 years older than me and Jemma was 4 years older. My sister Laura was very very disabled. She was so sick that all the symptoms from all the different things she had meant the doctors couldnt work out what was wrong with her.
I loved Laura, we were best friends. I spent all my time with her, even though I was very young.
My earliest memory is when I was 5 and she died when I was 7. So I dont understand how I fell so entirely apart when now I only have scattered memories of 2 years.. have I used my sisters death as an excuse for attention and sympathy?
I doubt everything I think about her, right now Im listening to the song they played at her funeral ((John Martyn - May you never)) and crying because I miss her so much... 11 years on... she was so perfect and tiny and innocent. She had the softest skin and hair and I can still smell her.
I remember the way she laughed but I know most of the time she cried from the pain, I remember all sorts of little things...
My dad and my other sister Jemma now hate me because they think Ive used Lauras death as a reason to get ''all depressed''. Jemma told me only a few days ago that Ive made a martyr out of her, and a few years ago my dad gave me some of the bandages they used on laura to hold her down when she slept so she wouldnt hurt herself and told me to remember that his pain was much worse than mine.
Am i an attention seeker? I refer to her as the other half of my soul, more than that, almost all of me, im not even half a person since shes been gone. I talk to her and ask her opinion on things via a star and shes always right...
I remember holding her in my arms as she cried the night she died, i remember the eastenders theme tune, the rocking horse, the hospital beds, the 'my little pony princess' she was cremated with...
Oh god
Im sorry cos i know this isnt the right place for this because she didnt kill herself but i dont know what to think any more.
I even wrote a song about her (click here to download it) .. im so pathetic
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