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Men Are Just Happier People

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by neverdie, Nov 7, 2007.

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  1. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress-$5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

    No wonder men are happier.

  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    So damn true :mad::laugh:
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni


    How true

    *decides she wants to become a man* :laugh:
  4. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

  5. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    I laughed. But for some reason that just made me really want a man in my life. :blink:
  6. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Cute. :laugh:

    :eek:hmy: "almost"
  7. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    The title makes me laugh the most.... when I think of everything that I will never have to deal(periods etc.). Thank You very much for bringing laughter into my day neverdie. :smile:

    Someone in my home begs to differ though. Where are the female serial killers....I thought every single one was/is a man?
  8. $MyName

    $MyName Well-Known Member

    There are female serial killers, just a lot less of them.

    I didn't read the whole first post, as I think I'v read it before and disagreed with it ;)
  9. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Being a man is not easy! I had to get dressed all by myself this morning....and there are other pressures as well!
  10. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    Nah, i prefer being a girl, besides i get most of those perks too... extra bonus!!!
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