Ok. I haven't been here, in a long while. I come here often to check messages and wall stalks, and to check on a few friends. Haven't started a thread other than a Happy Birthday thread in a long while, haha. I'm at the end of my rope, though, frustration-wise. There's this guy. We were good friends. I haven't been in a relationship in more than 2 years. That was long-distance, and though he was awesome, there seemed to be no future, no way to move forward. Work at that point got overwhelming, and has remained so. I've since decided I don't want any more relationships. I'm done. I don't want to give up my sex life, however. It was some time, after my last relationship, until I found a FWB. It worked fine, but of course I developed feelings and months later, he decided to reconcile with his former relationship, and he ended it with me. I stayed alone. A long time. FWB came back (of course) and that was sporadic, but it was working for me. I was ok, with great sex, no relationship, but I still had feelings. Enter, AV guy at work. *sigh* Interestingly, he entered the picture at the same time the "FWB" dumped me. Just randomly started talking to me on work IM. We really hit it off. Thing is, he's not a player (like my FWB.....who was totally, a player). This guy is almost too squeaky clean on the outside. And of course, he's unavailable. (story of my life) Big attraction ensues. Fast forward.....feeling guilt, he ''dumps'' me, abandons our friendship (though nothing ever happened, just talking) and months later, he appears again, on work IM. Telling me he's tired of talking fake with me and avoiding me.....he still wants me. It's still wrong, he's still unavailable....but he'd rather be my friend and want me, than not be my friend, and still want me. Ok. I had moved on, but the attraction was still there. I admitted to him, just that. Things escalated and a few months later, we were finally together. He just didn't talk to me, at all, after.....gradually he did, days later, then it escalated again, we were together again. It was great.....he rebounded more quickly the 2nd time. It was, due to schedules and his complications.....again, weeks before we were together....and just last Saturday, the timing worked out. It was better than ever......just getting to the point we are feeling comfortable and getting to know each other physically........and ......yeah.....since.....hardly anything. Really? Sure, I got a token email, that night, and Sunday......he didn't reply to any of my replies. And......since then he's ducked and dodged our encounter (which went really really well....it was obvious he enjoyed it) he's talked DAILY on work IM......and a few sporadic emails....but he isn't talking to me after work, via email. (I have thousands of emails, from him, since we started talking again in September 2011) Then after this last time, nothing. Seriously......I'm totally down with it, if he wants to chill. Stop contact. But....could he not just honor me with an explanation (even a lie.....fuck, anything!) Just a word of why. I know he's unavailable......I also know we didn't have any type of expectations between us. but he's masquerading as a friend at work each day......(he knows I'd work with him, drama free.......regardless even if I hated him, so that's not the issue) AAARGGGH. I just hate this dancing around. He really wants to talk to me, communicate with me, and sure, he's horny. Then we have a great time, . . . . and he goes AWOL. I feel like such an idiot. . . . . for even caring. UGH. Sorry for the long post/rant. I don't expect any replies....I just thank you for allowing me to speak freely here. I have a couple of good friends I greatly over-use in ranting. I just needed a place to speak freely and not have to hold anything back. Thank you for that, SF.