Men staring at women; assholes?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by deadend, Sep 8, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. deadend

    deadend Active Member

    Why do men always have to check-out other women?? I can understand if they do that when they are not dating or married to anyone, but please explain to me why men have to be so incredibly rude and disrespectful to women all the time, because that is what it is, rude and disrespectful to go on staring at other women while you are in a relationship with someone. Not only in real life, but they watch porn and jack-off to other women... other naked women! Probably everyday!!!

    Please don't give me that bullshit about how it's in your nature to notice other women because you're driven by your dicks. Please please do not say you cannot help it. Men have brains, no? You have a choice not to look just as women have the same choice, yet you keep looking. Please do not give me that bullshit about men being visual creatures. ALL human beings are visual! Nothing but excuses.

    The way I see it, men are just assholes. They have no regard for the women in their lives and if they had the chance, would cheat on them in heartbeat if they knew they wouldn't get caught. Am I wrong? Please, if you are a man who constantly looks at other women, tell me why? Do you imagine having sex with these women you stare at? Do you or have you done it in front of your girlfriends/wives? How would you feel if women started behaving like that? Like shit right?

    And men wonder why women have such low self-esteem.
  2. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    Boo, Where are thou :unsure:
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2010
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    It's reflex.
    I'm sure of it. -___-

    Although I don't really like it either, there's not a whole lot that can be done about it.
    Your guy could love you more than anything in the world and still be checking out another girl's merchandise from time to time-- he doesn't mean anything by it, it just happens.

    Yes, it's nature. It's hormones, It's mental reflex.
    Even gay men do it-- although they might be disgusted, thinking about a naked woman.

    As for pornography-- there's nothing wrong with that.
    Just because a man might masturbate to a woman's picture other than yours means in NO WAY that he'd rather be having sex with her than making love to you. A naked photo or a video or sound is just a tool to aid the brain.

    Perhaps if you're so worried, you should work on your self image and confidence-- both in yourself and in your relationship.
    I apologize if I sound rude at all, I mean nothing by it...
    I remember at one point this was also a touchy issue for myself, but I realized by asking EVERY GUY I KNEW that what my boyfriend was doing was pretty normal and natural. He assured me that it didn't mean he wasn't attracted to me or didn't love me; porn is just a tool. (both men and women use)
  4. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    I like to look at beautiful things. However, when I am with someone I can only think about them. However, a beautiful woman is a hard thing to resist. Honestly its like a one second thing. Wow she has a nice (whatever).
  5. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    Men can help it just as much as others can help not liking it.
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. Although I was with a woman at that time, she did the same thing and I hated myself being with her, (felt like I needed to actually change my gender/starved myself etc) when I split off, I started to realise who she was, what the relationship was like. I don't think what you're describing is exclusive to men but people who are turned on by things that are ( possibly) synthetic, safe at a distance, or "beautiful" if they see it that way. Or it could be to do with admiration which goes beyond looks sometimes?

    What I realised is, and this is from a lot of experience btw, that the men and women who do this while being in a 'loving relationship' do not feel strongly for the person they are with. They might feel very disconnected with themselves/their partner, especially if they are using porn a lot when in a relationship with someone else- which I think is a type of escapism rather than a 'necessity' but says a lot about that person. Or maybe this is just coming from me, because when I'm with someone- and there are strong feelings there, I do not 'check out' other people and make moves or do shit, y'know? Other people do not come into my radar- I do have people flirting with me, I play along for about 3 minutes and then leave, but I'm very uncomfortable with it all regardless of how I might appear.

    Anyone feel like myself, because I relate to the OP. It is the most soul destroying thing to be in a relationship- and have your partner go on about how attracted they are to other people than yourself, just wtf. If there is little/no attraction and there is no love/attention from your partner to yourself, then, I think it would be more fair to say to that person, you know what? Let's leave it. Instead of sticking around in a relationship because they get whatever from you, while hurting you in other ways, probably unintentionally- but it's a sign anyway of something going wrong somewhere.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2010
  7. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    You're not wrong, but you're not right either. I'd love to be the most, or the only, attractive man on earth but that isn't the case and I don't expect any girls to act like it. I'm not saying it isn't a rotten thing to do in the company of your girlfriend/boyfriend and I make an effort not to, but expecting your partner to not be attracted to anyone else once you start dating is unrealistic.

    Men look at other women because they can get sexually excited just by seeing an attractive woman and being sexually excited feels good. That's really all there is to it. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it doesn't mean he wants to cheat on you, it doesn't mean he doesn't think you're gorgeous, it means he has a sex drive and women other than you can activate it. I mean, if you want to go on man-bashing no one can stop you but just know that what you're saying is mostly unrealistic bias. There are plenty of men that don't so much as glance in another woman's direction when his partner is around and even when she isn't he'll treat her like a queen. If your self esteem is based off of what guys think of you you've got bigger problems than your boyfriend looking elsewhere imo.
  8. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    What a sexist one way post. Women do exactly the same thing. Just because you have had a bad experience with a man you assume that all men do what you describe. Im sorry but i find that offensive. Women do exactly the same thing.
  9. fooror

    fooror Well-Known Member

    Men are animals. We are built, genetically, to 'check-out' the opposite sex.

    I think it's a bit unfair to vilify us and call us assholes for something that is built into us from thousands of years of evolution.
  10. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Well, to be honest, I can't say that ALL of either sex do it, as I don't do it. I am only bothered with my fiancé, and could care less about other people's body. However, I do worry about my own, and feel I need to be better, because of the picture of what society paints as "beauty", I've known a couple people in my life from both sex that didn't go around hitting on other people or checking them out thoroughly - but it's not the most common thing, apparently. If I was with my fiancé and he made it very obvious that he was doing nothing but eyeballing someone for ages, it'd make me uncomfortable, yes... And flirting or hitting on? That I would consider disrespectful, I would no matter who it was or the sex. It does seem more apparent with some guys compared to women, in that area, but who is to say none of the women are doing it - there is no way to classify it, as no-one is exactly the same. (I am female, by the way, although, that's surely obvious)
  11. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I've always thought that it should be ok to look at the menu as long as you come home for dinner.
  12. Ihatemyselfalot

    Ihatemyselfalot Banned Member

    Because you are beautiful. :D
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.