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Unfortunately, the guys (and also girls) with the most confidence are indeed the most prone to having over-inflated egos as well.
Then by default, since the most confident are those who tend to socialize the most, it can be said that many of the "observed" males and females in social groups and in relationships tend to have similar qualities. So it is not too much of a stretch to say that most guys are jerks, because I understand the context being most guys who are actively engaging in personal relationships are commonly found to behave this way.
Now, it is also generally true to say that the shy (of both genders) tend to exhibit these personalities less because they're not comfortable and confident enough in themselves to be prone to mistreating others, they're usually introverted. (Whereas extroverts are generally always fixated on others) Of course, with introverted people - they're more likely to be exploited and abused by others for their weakness, and are often treated badly enough that they prefer to withdraw from social activity for the most part.
On the one hand, confident guys are admired and are usually the most attractive to females because of this aggressive behavior, but they're also the most likely to mistreat people. Shy guys are just usually not all that appealing to most females. So while many females complain openly about abusive or egotistical guys, it is obvious that they would usually still prefer that over introverted and sensitive guys. While they complain one day, the next they will be over it and be head-over-heels in love with the guy they were just calling a jerk. I'm aware of how this game works, but I choose not to play it. I would rather just be genuine and be considered a loser (while I consider it being a good role model) rather than sacrifice my personal beliefs just to be accepted by social groups and catch the interest of more females.
Those scenarios are not always the case, though it is generally the reality within most large social groups I've seen in my culture so far. There are always exceptions. Some girls prefer quieter guys and vice-versa. For example, I'm usually attracted to shy girls and can't stand *some* out-going girls with egocentric personalities due to the fact that their thinking process always seems heavily influenced by popular culture and media. You also have people who fall somewhere within a gray area between introverted and extroverted extremes. These people who can maintain a healthy balance are the most sought-after for relationships, balance is always good.
I would rather just be genuine and be considered a loser (while I consider it being a good role model) rather than sacrifice my personal beliefs just to be accepted by social groups and catch the interest of more females.
I think thats a good approach to have, not least it puts you in a light different to the competitive males all fighting over the same peice of steak. Im guilty of trying to show off when theirs a young lady in toe. probably stems from trying to impress my mother when I was young. Your approach would be more balanced where as my eyes light up for the thrill of the chase, I usually end up looking like a plonker though.
Introverted people do usually attract the wrong kind of attention from everyone, espescially when out in a crowd. While extroverted people can appear to be seeking too much attention. This is where you find out who the most balanced person is, that image then becomes the new 'steak'
Two of my best friends get a lot of girls. Me and the other of my 3 best friends don't. It's not that we're all that different as far as looks, athleticism or brains, and we're all nice people. But our manners are absolutely different, which is why two are successful with girls and two aren't. The two that get a lot of girls are both on spectator-sports-type teams. I'm on a nordic ski team. That sort of difference. I'm just an introverted person, (not shy, there is a difference). The 4 of us have known each other for a long, long time. And the point I wanted to make is that the two who have lots of girls after them are perfectly nice guys who have to shut down a lot of girls. There aren't any really easy ways to do it--I've been in that situation, not very many times, but enough for me to know to steer clear. Enough for me to feel sorry for my friends when I see the look in their eyes saying "I like her but not that much, somehow this is going to end badly" when we're leaving a party. They hurt girls without wanting to quite often. The most successful relationships they've been in have been "taken slow" which is, believe it or not, what a lot of guys (even ones with a lot of "experience") often want, and if those meaningful relationships ended with hurt, then at least both people thought the chance taken had still been worth it (and worth taking again).
Another thing: In my opinion, if you're really young, then it's true most of the confident guys are confident as a result of being assholes. I think that's true until people reach their early or mid-20's and start to either make something of themselves or make nothing of themselves. Women may be attracted to confident guys starting in 3rd grade, but at that point I think there's not much out there for them. I know I wasn't exactly there for them then, or in middle school, or in high school really :rolleyes: but in my opinion I'm becoming something worthwhile even though I'm a "nice guy" by reputation.
Life hasn't been too satisfying lately though... hence me being in these forums...