And I'm rather tired of it. Hi, I'm Rachel and I am new to the site found it last night while pondering how to take myself out of my miserable existence. I'm 32 and since I can remember been dealing with mental issues. I have bipolar2, mostly the depressive end but when I can be manic I hold on for life and pray it never ends because I love the energy and happiness it brings, even if it's imagined. I see my psychiatrist regularly been on the medicine merry go round about 30 times and see my therapist twice a month. Somehow, I just can't seem to climb my way out of this hole. I have two awesome little boys and have managed to be married for 11 years but even that is on it's last leg has been for years. Partially my fault, a lot on his end as well. I don't have a great support system partially due to my isolation but mostly due to others ignorance to me and my "disease". I feel as I'm living in my own little world that is empty black lonely and mostly sad and numb. I have no hobbies nothing interests me anymore except sleeping, in turn is used against me as I'm often mislabeled as "lazy" which couldn't be further than the truth. I an nothing of what I used to be. I just feel so lost. And ready to give up. So that's my story ever so short and sweet. Sorry if long, I don't talk or write much. It breaks my heart to see all the sad people here suffering as well, but to be completely honest it's some comfort to know there is somewhere that people can be accepted and understood. Love to you all❤❤❤.
