alientated and alientating has anyone else dealt with this? Im still dealing with the aftereffects of untreated health issues and mental wreckage and ill never be k, im tring but feel it was not meant to be, feel like a torture victim They always denied everything that was not good , we never could discuss any issues and im dealing with the consequences of that on my health and overall life. People here are very mean and sadistic so i guess thats why my parents rather denie all reality cause they cant handle it and the dumb things they did but im trapped between these horrible people. I know there is batter out there but im here and one can see i grew up here They both qualify for skitzoaffective, they function fine till reality is non likeble, than they retreat into their own world and deny reality.And they have been doing it a lot during their lives. Dont even know where to start explaneing what that did to me and our lives overall. The situations they put me i and the warped perceptions and attitudes twords me and subhuman behaviour they cough up at bad times without exception, how they agravated me every single time and acted like they helped me and did a great thing and im alright and everything is great. My dad is mostly manic and for some reason very manic about me, its like he seas me and goes manic, its so disturbing for me now and triggering after what they put me thro. Also whenever i start acting nice my mom starts acting mean to me and by mean i mean very cruel and dehumanizeing. I feel like i have to have my guard up all the time cause whenever things sema a bit in place and feel like i can catch my breath they start acting crazy and disturbing. Like my dad stars telling me what i like and no reasoning will get to his brain im a human and a i have feelings and im not appreciateing what he wants me to appreciate. And i ashure u hes deluded about what he seas as great...and by great i mean greatness. Sometimes i throw stuff and shout at them to stop and it seams to be the only thing getting to their perverted brain. Im stuck in a poor house with old demented people that I feel invalidated me and made me less than human, and all i can do is dream someone will let me out but doubt it can happen Also seams i trained my dad to understand he needs to shut up if i tell him so so guess hes not doing it all consciously but like he is always acting on what hes used to act and than i throw him a look or dont answer and he shuts up. Or sometimes he realizes himself the things he says and stopes after that. But its makes me cry whenever im in a batter mood eh feels he can come and deverse some dementedness and the things he says r so insulting it drives me 100% crazy Also need to add they they r old now but been acting like this all my life people tell me they r old but it makes my cry cause all i can think of is ask what where they 10 years ago cause they act mostly the same, its so dehumanizing On neede to ad i think they do thins to me cause i was depressed since forver, and turns out had good reasons to but they just refused to see im ill physically. So i feel liek they just treat me like im less thna human for that and should have no self respect , but it only made outr lives hell. Bene forced to act like every retarded impression they have is real when i was a kid and now it drives me crazy angry remembering. Also because the illness i had could have been delt with but just havent cause they like to think themselves as educated but r more ignorant than a bunch of gypsies on basic human issues.