Merry Christmas Kids

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by fyreguy, Dec 3, 2006.

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  1. fyreguy

    fyreguy Member

    I have picked christmas to be my last day. I really don't care anymore. The past week has been the worst and pushed me over the edge. My ex won't let me see my kids since I have to work christmas day and thats the day specified by the court. Then there's the fact I can afford to pay my bills let alone get shristmas presents, even though I work 2 jobs. Then the woman I was dating broke it off with me with the "I'm hung up on someone else" speech. I have nothing to offer anyone and no real reason to keep on living. I have stockpiled a bunch of pills and have written the letters. I hope it's my engine company that finds me, so they know what they did to me.
     
  2. fyreguy

    fyreguy Member

    of course since nobody cares it will be tonight.
     
  3. GhostOfYou

    GhostOfYou Well-Known Member

    hey. listen people do care annd I'm not just saying that.
    You can get through this, please just don't do anything to yourself that you're going to regret, or arn't going to be around to regret.
    Think of how badly you will be hurting your kids by doing this. They will never have a Dad.
    Please don't take the pills. Throw them away and please stay safe for now. PM me if you evre need anything.
     
  4. fyreguy

    fyreguy Member

    They don't have a dad now, just child support. They wouldn't care. My youngest calls me sperm donor, and only wabts money. I have made up my mond and am typing the note now.
     
  5. Times may seem hard, but trust me ive been through thisand im still here and i am glad. Dont do it. The chances are that you'll be found, and you will wake up feeling stupid and worse then you are now. If you are going to do this, then even t hough you may not see your kids on christmas day, think of how upset they will be when they find out that there dad, is gone. They will be upset that they cant see you on christmas day. And knowing that there dad has died on christmas day will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Even if you don't like yourself, they love you, there is no stronger bond than a parents. And breaking that bond will be horrible for them. And i dont think they would be able to cope. I know that it is hard to pay of the bills, but just look into ways you can save money. There are companies out there which are designed to help people in debt. I know people whos dad have killed themselves, and they dont want to live themselves, they try slitting their throat they trying cutting their wrists, they try anything to relieve the pain. Do you want your kids to do this? ITs hard and i know its hard. BUt pulling through this wil make you a stronger person. Trust me. If screwed my life up enough times to appreciate it. I read your post, i don't even know you, and im worried about you. Your not unwanted, you need to stop thinking in this way, you can make a difference, use this experience that you are having to help other people. Live isnt there for you to throw away. Believe ion yourself. I believe you can get through this, so why don't you. If you want to talk i'm here.
     
  6. You think they don't love you. Me and my dad dont see each other, and ive said alot of hurtful things to him in the past, but if my dad died, id go with him.
     
  7. fyreguy

    fyreguy Member

    My youngest just called and yelled at the answering machine cuz I can't get them anything for christmas. He said my ex and her famile are getting him lots of stuff and this proves how worthless I am. Oh yeah and the woman I was seeing, called me to tell me she found someone new to take her to her company christmas party tonight. So with no friends, no family, and no money, what's the use?
     
  8. thats what i asked myself once. but i'm here. You don't want to die in vein. You have time to get money, to make more friends, to get a new girlfriend. And when thats come along, then you can buy your children the biggest present in the world.
     
  9. but that doesnt mean that for now, their christmas present should be you dying.
     
  10. fyreguy

    fyreguy Member

    Yeah I think I should be dying. I'm too old to start all this crap again. Plus I'm not attractive nor do I have what is considered to be be a good job.
     
  11. You can never be to old to make a change.
     
  12. fyreguy

    fyreguy Member

    Yes you can. Plus you can be too old to be wanted by anyone. I see it everyday when we make a run to a nujrsing home.
     
  13. DrJohn

    DrJohn New Member

    fyreguy ,
    You say that you see it everyday when you make a run to the nursing home. Sounds to me that you are with ems or a fire company. You say that noone cares about you, well pal how bout you go and see those lives that you saved. I believe they would have a different opinion. You are a good man with a good live, a life that doesnt just think for himself, yet rather a life that looks out for others. Girls dig that stuff and you just need to give it time. As for your kids dont hurt them that way its selfish and nothing positive can come out of it. U make a difference every single day and if that isnt good enough then get out there and look for a better job if thats what you want and in time the kids will love you a good woman will love you and you rlife will be better in the blink of an eye. One thing i can tell you is , if you continue to lie down like this it will not get better. You know your potential and so do all the people you help.. Dont take the so called easy way out get out into that world and take advantage of life. Nothing is impossible and anything can come true if you put some effort. God Bless

    DrJohn
    drjohnhelps@yahoo.com
     
  14. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    If your kids are going to talk to you like shit then they don't deserve christmas presents. How old are they btw?
    From what you've told us you sound like your going through a bloody raw deal. But remember, it sounds like it's mostly others that are doing it to you. You are your own person and you don't have to take this crap off people. If you look deep and see any way you can be happy in the future then writ it down and flesh it out. I think you need some fresh air and some direction. Try and tell your kids that your not going to compete with someone so that they can get more presents off people. Put your foot down and show strength and they might hate you for it then, but will respect you in the long run.
    I hope this helped, got quite annoyed reading how your kids talked to you so i ranted a bit sorry.
     
  15. ~Serendipity~

    ~Serendipity~ Active Member

    Please dont do this to your children, it isnt their fault :( Those words (sperm donor) are obviously from the mother ... I guess you did not split on good terms and by the sounds of it she is feeling bitter and saying things to the kids.

    They will one day start to think for themselves and will want to get to know there dad but if you carry out your plan they will forever remain as bitter as she is and they really do not deserve that.

    So hang in there please for yourself AND your kids.

    Take care x
     
  16. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    I'm new here . .
    I'll post my story later on since well . .i'm busy right now^^

    but i must tell you fyreguy that commiting suicide won't make it better
    for you or for anyone, I tried once on an overdose of
    *beeeeeeeeep* also known as *beeeeeeep*
    but i'm telling you it's not worth the effort.
    you'll end up in the hospitals with more bills to pay . .
    anyway, how could your kids or anyone for the matter of fact love you if you don't even love yourself???o_O

    think positive, it always helps . .
    As for X-mas presents, well . . there always is next Xmas, you have
    a year to save up^^ or on their birthdays.
    Your ex clearly isn't doing any good in taking care of the kids,
    how old are they again? doesn't matter'
    the point is, no matter how much anger and pain she feels towards you
    she shouldn't have passed that hatred onto your kids.
    it's a selfish thing, and it teaches the children to hate at such a young age
    it's unhealthy for everyone . .

    everytime you get the urge of commiting Suicide, lean back slap yourself a couple of times, drink monkey blood, do 5 backflips, then sacrifice a goat
    no but what i mean is . . Clear your mind and THINK, and try to distract yourself. . .
    maybe by uhm . . posting on this forum for example.
    or dancing like a retard to a song, or simply singing or screaming
    there are alot of fun ways to enjoy life^^
     
  17. missionk

    missionk New Member

    well I come from a divorced family and I use to always call my dad just a sperm donor but that's what I felt like he was just because he never took the time to call me or wish me happy birthday! He told me when I was 8 that he no longer considered me his child and because of those words I am now dealing with major issues in my life... please I beg you for the sake of your kids don't do it! Everything that my dad has put me through and all the pain he has caused me I would prob. kill myself if my dad ever did anything like that... I know what your kids say is very hurtful and you feel like you have nothing left but please don't.. for the sake of your kids.! As a 16 year old kid I can tell you from experience that they don't mean what they say... I swear to you they don't... they are just bitter and they will be for a long time! I actually wanted to kill myself tonight because of my dad until I read your post... it gave me a sense of wonder.. a wonder of what he was feeling! Of course my dad hates me and he just breaks my heart time and time again I could never leave my mom behind! I actually thank you for your post because it saved my life! Your kids just don't understand right now.. be patient with them and don't let go of life! I never recieved a christmas present or birthday wish for my whole life and i turned out ok... presents are everything and they will understand later on in life! They love you... I know they do! I still love my dad even after everything he has put me through...
     
  18. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    well said . . .
    see???
    hehe i'm also 16 if in case you're wondering . .
    we may just be kids blabbing to you, but as far as we know
    we understand the feeling of your children.
    whatever they say they will regret sooner or later.
    I said some harsh things to my dad
    it's that typical father son WAR!! but nevertheless .
    i could not imagine myself hitting my father!! o_O
    no matter what he does it's not an option . .

    come one it's Xmas . . . hang up a pair of swetay socks
    and give your children a cookie for being mean . . ^^
     
  19. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    oh by the way

    if you show your kids that you love them despite what they say . .
    they'll learn to appreciate you as well .
    don't worry, it's not to late to make reconciliations
     
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