Times may seem hard, but trust me ive been through thisand im still here and i am glad. Dont do it. The chances are that you'll be found, and you will wake up feeling stupid and worse then you are now. If you are going to do this, then even t hough you may not see your kids on christmas day, think of how upset they will be when they find out that there dad, is gone. They will be upset that they cant see you on christmas day. And knowing that there dad has died on christmas day will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Even if you don't like yourself, they love you, there is no stronger bond than a parents. And breaking that bond will be horrible for them. And i dont think they would be able to cope. I know that it is hard to pay of the bills, but just look into ways you can save money. There are companies out there which are designed to help people in debt. I know people whos dad have killed themselves, and they dont want to live themselves, they try slitting their throat they trying cutting their wrists, they try anything to relieve the pain. Do you want your kids to do this? ITs hard and i know its hard. BUt pulling through this wil make you a stronger person. Trust me. If screwed my life up enough times to appreciate it. I read your post, i don't even know you, and im worried about you. Your not unwanted, you need to stop thinking in this way, you can make a difference, use this experience that you are having to help other people. Live isnt there for you to throw away. Believe ion yourself. I believe you can get through this, so why don't you. If you want to talk i'm here.