Message from a parent.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tiredofit, Jan 2, 2010.

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  1. tiredofit

    tiredofit Member

    I took an overdose and left the house with the children playing happily downstairs and my husband asleep on the couch.
    I sent him a text message telling him that I want my eldest daughter to get the car and my 8 year old to live with her best friend, who's mother had already promised she would take her should anything happen to me.

    My 11 year old daughter heard the text come through and read it :( my 18 year old told her it was a suicide message.
    She ran out of the house screaming after me.
    I was at the other end of the street but I heard her screams.
    I ran and crossed the busy main road.
    I turned around and she had caught up and was nearly hit by a car crossing the road.
    She screamed in tears saying if I die she will kill herself too.
    She didn't know I had already taken the overdose.

    I didn't realise just how hard my kids would take my death. I knew it wouldn't be easy but I never thought they would be so messed up that they would hurt themselves.
    I had to live for her.
    I went to the hospital and I lived.

    I won't be attempting to kill myself again. The glimpse into how my children would suffer was a huge eye opener. Now I have to build trust again.. my kids are traumatised at the thought of losing me :(

    If you are a parent, please take my post as a warning. You will possibly be killing your children if you kill yourselves.

    I think this may need to be stickyed.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I just want to thank you for posting this. I'm so glad you decided to live!! :hug: Your kids need you!
  3. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    thanks for sharing your glad you decide to live :hug:
  4. LotusFlower

    LotusFlower Antiquities Friend

    Thank you for sharing your story. One thing that has helped me hold on is that my dr has told me that children of parents who kill them selves are at a greater risk of doing it them selves.
  5. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    When I read posts like yours, it makes me realize the effect suicide has on other people. I have no children but I do have parents still and other people who would be hurt. Hope you can get some help. Depression that ends in an attempt will require help to get past. Glad you made a wise decision to stay alive.
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    No offense to anyone, but I think if you bring a child into the world you have no right to kill yourself.
  7. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    We are all slaves to life. Everyone has the survival instinct, its impossible to fight it. The only way to do it is if the instinct is brocken, or blocked somehow. I've been trying to do the latter, and I'm almost there.

    I'm glad you want to live though, I just see no point, its over for me.
  8. tiredofit

    tiredofit Member

    No offense taken at all.. you are right!!!
  9. rxrxrx

    rxrxrx Member

    My mom tried to suffocate herself with a thick plastic bag and a belt around her neck when I was 15. She almost died, the only reason she didn't is because she fell off of the bed and my brother heard her hit the floor, and he came to see what was wrong. he had to cut the belt off of her while she lost control of her bowels.

    She tried to leave us then, and I haven't trusted her to stay since. It destroyed my relationship with her, and now I don't know who she is, and I don't know who I am, either. It's been 10 years and 10 minutes at the same time.
  10. voices_inmy_head

    voices_inmy_head Well-Known Member

    My mum overdosed twice, I was 13 at the time. And I cant trust her now. And I still don't forgive her for it.

    I also wonder if its partly why I am the way I am today.

    I'm not trying to make you feel worse, you made the same decision so many of us have/are considering. And I don't blame you for it at all. But I doubt your children understand at all. And if you don't find some way to explain it to them they never will. I think family councelling is a good idea. I wish my family had done it.
  11. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I think voices_inmy_head is exactly right! You owe it to them to get help and help them understand what happened.
    If you are needing support we are here for you.
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