messed up big time

hey, so heres the thing, had a lot of troubles in my 39 yrs on this planet,attempted suicide twice and i self harm due i think to the massive guilt i carry around with me. 1st marriage went wrong, got divorced in 2000, ex took off abroad with my kids and i didnt see them for nigh on 10 yrs. met a guy, was with him the past 8 yrs, thought he was my soulmate, my rock, turned out he wasnt the guy i thought he was, found out he had spent the last 5 yrs of our relationship sleeping with prostitutes, men and cross dressers. just before christmas i totally lost the plot, i had been drinking and went home and punched him a few times,he grabbed my arms, i head butted him, he let go of my left arm and i grabbed his nuts and pulled pretty hard. he had to go to hospital, i got arrested and last friday i pleaded guilty to GBH assault with intent, basically im screwed, i go to court for sentencing on june 1st and im pretty sure i will do time. to whit, i will lose my buisness,my home, my kids that i have only just got to know again, what little respect my family still has for me and also my dog who is my best friend. whats more i suffer panick attacks thinking about that night and now i have even more guilt to carry around. pretty much hanging on by a thread here.:badday:

 

hey angel here i just wanna say that guy deserves everything he got although i would've done worse as in cut his ball off and stick them down his throat since he likes ball in his mouth so much
also don't give up things will get better just keep praying and you will find that its the choices you make that makes the situation better or worse
i'm here for you if you need someone to talk to