I feel so messed up right now i just want to end it. i keep having these feelings and thoughts and my parents keep upsetting me and things at home are not good.I want to move out get away from it all be alone but i couldnt cope on my own not with my depression. I feel like giving up becuase when i feel as messed up as i do now i feel suicidal i feel that it would be instant relief from feeling this messed up. all i want is to be happy and the things i need to make me happy i cant have becuase it would hurt/upset my parents. i either carry on being unhappy or be happy but in doing so i will upset my parents and they may disown me then i will end up having to move out and be on my own and i might not see my parents becuase they might not want to see me anymore.