Hello everyone, long time no post on my part , but here goes... "Metaphorical Science Report" Mostly I’m just scared. Scared that he was right. And I’m gonna spend the rest of my life tied down, Promethean-style, to something that feels remarkably like a rock. Of course that’s not what he said. He doesn’t seem to think it’s a rock but even if I am crazy I’m not that kind of crazy. A rock’s a rock. And that there is definitely a rock no matter what anyone says. A metaphorical rock. What he did say, anyhow, was “mood disorder” and “I think this drug is helping”. Something much harder to argue with. As a rock, well, a rock generally has pretty definite borders. The DSM-IV or whatever number they’re up to now leaves a lot of room for fuzzy borders, it’s science playing at surety still in the early Galilean stages caught somewhere between magic and logic, physiologic alchemy reaching for loosely defined normalcy, trying to turn lead into gold and resisting the urge to screech “Voila!” when the trick works. Doesn’t always work though. The Rabbit won’t come out of the Hat. There is no Rabbit in the Hat. The Hat, is not a hat. There’s a Rabbit AND a ferret. And so on. Lots of options. So, I say calmly to him (at least I do my best), (though using words equally mysterious if not as metaphorical) “What if there’s no rabbit? Or what if the Rabbit is really a Mouse? Or, even, say, a fish?” Though I don’t think it’s a fish, and there’s definitely something in my metaphorical Hat. I’m in fact pretty sure it’s a metaphorical Mouse. Something of that ilk anyway, smaller than a rabbit, built a bit differently, but still with pointy rodent teeth. This metaphor’s gotten too drawn out. Mixed really. From Rock to Rabbit to Mouse. Guess what it all winds up being Rodent, Rock, or Lagomorph, is very confusing. And all we’re really left to argue over, is who is the real authority here. The one who wrote the book on it, or the one living in a Hat with an unidentified Rodent who is presently sitting on a couch complaining about Rocks. Now, I know what my own knee jerk reaction would be, but as I am presently the one on the couch, I can’t help but think that A) He probably has a Rodent of his own (slightly tangental perhaps), B) Having lived in this Hat for twenty-years, I should have some say as to whether a Rock is a good addition to the mix. And C) I have no particular problem with living with a Rock, as Rocks are solid and useful in many ways and make very quiet roomates, but that perhaps a pebble or a palm-sized chunk, or some combination thereof, might suffice (or even work better) in place of a boulder, as, no matter how useful a rock is, when it’s this large, it’s too big to pick up and make use of, and no matter how quiet it is, you’re gonna notice if it takes up the entire kitchen. So what I mean here is, thank you very much for your opinion Sir, but I politely asked the Rock to move out last month (I got a forwarding address of course), so far the Mouse is showing no signs of turning into a Rabbit (though you’ll be the first to know if it does), and it’s very nice to be able to get to the oven again.