Might as well post this here, I guess

Discussion in 'LGBTQIA (New Forum)' started by BitterandNumb, Oct 8, 2016.

  1. BitterandNumb

    BitterandNumb Member

    TRIGGER WARNING -- Contains adult content and sexual topics!

    This is kind of embarrassing for me to talk about, but here goes:
    First of all, the reason I'm posting this in the LGBTQIA section is because I am, in fact, bisexual. Although I've found I tend to have a preference for men (being a man myself). That alone isn't really embarrassing for me to talk about, I'm not ashamed of my sexual orientation by itself, but the thing is... I'm kind of a total pervert. I am always thinking about sex, the desire for it dominates my life. I'm always looking at anyone remotely attractive as if they are pieces of meat, be they friends or complete strangers. I can't help it. I feel like I need sex in my life in order to be happy. That's just the kind of person I am, I guess. So of course, I have been desperately seeking a relationship or at least a friend-with-benefits that can give me what I so deeply need. But I have had little success in my 27 years of life. I've tried dating sites, I've even tried men-seeking-men personal ads on craigslist. I am too socially inept to go to bars or clubs or try to hook up with people through those kinds of methods. I just don't know what to do anymore... I've almost given up hope completely. I feel too old, too broken, and most of all, too ugly to find the happiness I seek.
  2. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Staff Member Safety & Support

    Well...practically speaking for the short term, have you tried Tinder/Grindr? They seem to be pretty swift convenient apps.

    But on a possibly deeper level, if this is consuming a large possibly 'abnormal' part of your life and/or thoughts, maybe you can try to make an appointment with a therapist to see if there is a root cause or if there is anything you can do practically to help control it so you have greater balance, as there are probably other things you can enjoy in life without the constant focus on sex.
    You could just have a very high drive, but the phrasing that it dominates you could be a cause for concern, not just because it is sex, but from the viewpoint that anything that controls your life in such a manner may be unhealthy.

    I hope you get both short term and longer term solutions :)
  3. Booman1990

    Booman1990 Member

    I am the same way, I am gay. I look at men as pieces of meat as well. And I feel old, broken, and ugly, and I'm 26, I rarely find anyone interested in me. I've also given up hope as well, I feel lonely and deal without sex and haven't had it since January. But Grindr, Tinder, and Growlr, are good dating/hookup apps. Try those. If you need someone to talk too you're more than welcome to message me.
    NoneKnowNothingness likes this.
  4. Your palm flower crystal, your life clock, ticks off the seconds you will live, all three billion of them, some 95 years, perhaps, but each one passes in single file, after its predecessor. At 26, you’re not gonna be six times your current age anymore. But you may get a lot older, the path becoming narrow and steep the farther into this game you penetrate. At my age, many of the options I had in my twenties have long since evaporated. So, I hope you can relax in your own skin, and I’m glad to see you offering other members support already.

    Being gay remains a difficult test, as a partially-stigmatized status. I can remember when gay meant “gay colors,” as in the bright colors of an acrylic painting. Its sexual identification is relatively recent. A 19th century reader wouldn’t understand it as liking men; only as being happy or cheerful. I dunno. The odor of women turns me off by comparison with an aromatic butchy underarm. I guess those pheromones act differently on different people, with some of us sexually excited by members of our own sex.

    Best wishes. :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 17, 2017 at 1:24 AM
    Booman1990 likes this.
  5. walkerbait95

    walkerbait95 Forum Pro SF Supporter

    When sex becomes an unhealthy topic and you're obsessing about it, then it's time to start thinking of a ways to tame that. Obviously there's a lot of variation in sex drive but if it's consuming your thoughts then you likely need to think about what you can do to squash that a little.
    Have you ever gone to therapy? Hell, have you ever taken meds for depression?
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 17, 2017 at 1:25 AM
  6. Shorty92

    Shorty92 Well-Known Member

    I'm a bi 25 year old women and I look at men and women like pieces of meat when I'm attracted to someone I will happily check them out. Nothing wrong with appreciating beauty!
    Ash600 likes this.