might as well...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by morning rush, Oct 8, 2009.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm really having suicidal thoughts right now. My friend who's a bit like me with fears and anxiety is going to go to school soon. And it makes me feel like I'm worthless. I can't work because of my anxiety, it drains me and it always affected me because in my family they expect you to work to be someone and if you're on welfare(goverment who gives you money) you're just some lazy person who doesnt work...anyways...with a friend who was in the same situation made me feel like okay, at least I'm not alone in this situation...but now...she's getting her life together and I'm alone in this...I feel so bad...like it will never get better and I might as well end it now....
  2. Seano

    Seano Well-Known Member

    Please don't let others blame you for what you cannot change ... yet.

    Anxiety maybe not as plain to see as someone walking around on crutches with a broken leg, but just as debilitating if that is the truth in your heart. I hope that you can find the key cause of the anxiety and let that be the one thing that you and your family focus on removing, and just hope that you might find that when you can be free from that, the rest of your life can have the value that it ought to.

    Hope is priceless.

    PS: Maybe just like your friend, your moment is just around the corner?
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 9, 2009
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    It is hard when a friend leaves to go to school. Look around you and see who you can befriend in the future. Are there any depression support groups in your area?

  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I have social phobias on top of my severe anxiety. My anxiety is so strong that I can't go to sleep without tranquilizing pills, I can last three days without sleep until I'm too tired to do anything and even then I wont sleep for long...I also have panic attacks...my doctor says I might never be able to work normal work...it just sucks that I can't do anything about it besides therapy and medication...and even then it helps but doesnt remove everything...I'm stuck with it for life...

    I just hated that my family makes judgements and thinks I'm a bum...I guess if I ended it...then I'd be better off...
  5. Seano

    Seano Well-Known Member

    Then you would remain forever a 'bum' in your family's memory, would you not?

    Similar to yourself, I can sense the feelings of others that I must be some kind of 'malingerer' having had this disease for three years now although there are no outward appearances beyond the blood-test results, which are also meaningless. I feel helpless now that both my 'options' and my bank balance have run to nil, when I have known for at least two of the past three years that my recovery is a simple air-ticket back to civilisation and the tropical climate that is only ever sporadically seasonal in these latitudes.

    The myopic attitudes of ones family and friends are a pain in the arse for sure, but if you wait around until you do manage to find a workable lifestyle (and there are so many to choose from in this world if you can see past the local community that might contribute to these repairable handicaps), then you might get to have the last laugh when someone else within your social circle takes the place of you and up until now, your friend. Also, going back to school is more of a financial burden on society than welfare alone, and it's hardly the same as working.

    One day you'll look back and remember these times, and I hope you will not be so brutal on other people with illness or injuries as your colleagues would seem to be treating you.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    My parents have always looked upon someone as to how much money they make..Half my family doesn't even talk to me..The other half just tells me to get my shit together and get back out there..People just don't understand mental illness.. It's more the way they were raised.. Mental illness is tabboo.. People didn't start coming out of the closet until about 50 years ago or so..I have been locked away from the world for sixteen years.. I stay in my bedroom all the time and have no friends other than the ones I have met here..Therapy helps.. I have been in it for four years now and I am able to get out of the house for a little while in the mornings..Then it's right back to my bedroom..You need to get a therapist before you start isolating yourself..I wouldn't wish this life on anyone..
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