Might Be A Trigger

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hope_2_B_a_friend, Apr 22, 2007.

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  1. earlier today i felt so worthles and so pathetic that i thought that there was no option other than suicide. this may seem stuid to some of you but anyway here goes:my mom took us to a shopping mall. everytime i go to tht particular shopping mall i go to a computer shop there.we generally look for any kind of specials on laptops cos my mum said that if there at a good price she would get one for herself and one for my sister as a birthday present. she ended up getting me so xcited for it that i would almos burst with excitement. when we got there she bought just one for my sister. as soon as i got to the car i burst into tears , i realised that everyone in my life has let me down all the time and tha the only person i could count on was my self.i knew that there were some potent painkilers in my moms cupboard, if i took about 6 i would eventualy die within a couple of minutes.

    i just now heard my mom speak to my dad one the phone. even though i hated my dad because he was really abusive my real reason for hatin him is that he was particularly was abusive to me in every sense of the word. she spoke to him to tell him to collect the last of his thing s from our house she was really upset and started to curse him on the phone. she was really mean and he was going to come home on the weekend to fetch his things. i know that as soon as he saw her he was goin to remeber what was said on the phone and was going to start a fight.
    what thta meant for me was more tears more physical abus and my mum crying. i cant handle this and am fuckin tired of defening my mothers stupid actions. shes a really great mum only thing is that shes a bit igorant and oblivious to danger when it comes to my dad. shes thins that she could agrevate him and get away without a scratch . it never works that way and always ens up with me hurtin someone or hurtin my self

    HELP PLEASE!!:mellow:
     
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