Mind State Causing Troubles Resulting To Jail - What To Do?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by taken4granted21, Aug 25, 2013.

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  1. taken4granted21

    taken4granted21 New Member

    Hello All,

    Im at the point where i dont know what to do anymore in my life and i want to end my life, i have tried getting help but nothing has worked for me yet, i dont want to admit myself to a Looney Bin because i would probably never get out if i wanted to and if i was in there i dont think anyone even my friends or family would attempt to get me out or care that i was in there, would probably see it as im gone and getting better being in there, i have just recently been charged with Assault, my girlfriend hit me in the face and i hit her back we both got injuries but being a guy i didnt respond the same way she did i kind of just let it go and she took it to heart and went to the hospital and police got involved and now im getting charged for assault or bodily harm which is making me even more depressed, anxious and suicidal, because not only have i lost her out of my life now and the police have made my friends and her make a statement of material facts, everyone has turned on me, i know that it was all caused because i was not myself and havent been myself for a long time now and have been taking on and off xanax and lexapro as well as valium (benzo's) and been addicted to them when the doctor took me off them and didnt allow me to go back on them i got moody and angry and violent towards everyone even my family and friends, too loosing my job and sleeping on the street, to asking for help then not wanting it because i felt as if they cant help me, and going to court for crime and things i had to do to survive during this time and being looked at like a bad person, when in fact i just want some help.

    im 27 and i feel like im not going anywhere in my life, i got marks against my name which makes it hard for me to get a job and i am currently living with 8 students from korea in a share house thats very dirty and messy and i have no option to go anywhere else but is a big luxary from the gutter and street life, feeling like a misfit, i turned to music and starting making tracks about how my life was and if anyone cared, i gained alot of attention and followers from it but not enough to make a difference.

    anyways moving on, i want to kill myself or end my life because i dont want to go to jail for the way im acting or what i have done that wasnt me at the time or is not me, sounds like a cover up but its the truth and if you believe it or not well whatever i dont care anymore, i dont even know why im on here i guess im trying everything before i get <edit mod total eclipse methods>

    sounds wack maybe so i have spent most of the night looking for painless ways of doing it and people have said why painless you would be going thru more pain at the moment yeah maybe emotionally and mentally but not physically and i want to just sleep and never wake up rather then have others deal with blood and gore at a schene.

    anyways if anyone out there can help me avoid jail and get my life back on track or assist me with help or direction and shed some light my way
    really appreciate it, i got 1 month before i find out if im going to jail or killing myself

    i think locking up people doesnt solve anything, especially when they need help.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 26, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would get legal advice or assistance and get them to show how mentally unstable you have been and go in for help NOW ok to hospital that will show that you are willing to change and not stay on the path you are on hugs I deleted out the methods you posted as this is not allowed on forums please read rules hun hugs
     
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