Mini Crisis

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Blacky, Sep 16, 2014.

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  1. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hola mis amigos,

    It's a long time since I visited this forum, mostly because I was doing better but also because I had school to attend, friends to visit and to work.
    So, first of all, I want to say hello to all of you.

    The reason why I'm here again is, that I figured that this is the only forum no one knows me, like personally, because I don't need friends/ or else
    to read this. Mostly because things would not end well...

    I wanted to ask you guys for your opinion.

    I have a good friend who wants me and and a friend of hers to be be friends again.
    Since last year, me and her friend wouldn't talk, monstly because we would start fighting.

    I had many problems with this person last year, he was depressed since his parents were separeting, almost killed himself and was totally in love with me.
    Since I had experiece with his feeling (I was also suicidal some time ago) I wanted to help him, but made sure that he would understand, that we were just friends.
    I tod him that several times, I just wasn't looking for a relationship right now, but he always startet it again.

    I got really angry at times and told him to back off.
    But since he ignored it, I talked with my school counsler about it, she talked with him and ...

    Yeah, we weren't really getting along at this time, he got angry at me, said mean things about my mother, I got angry at him, said I wished he would just
    not came to school anymore, because I couldn't take it anymore, then he would talk to a friend about, saying I said " I wished you'd never came back!" like he would
    be dead and so on and on.

    We couldn't get along anymore, I blocked him in Facebook after we all left school and I thought it would be over.

    But recently one of my friends wants us to be friends again.
    I tried to reason with her, that right now isn't a good time for that, she should just leave it, but she couldn't.

    I got really angry yesterday.

    You know Youtube right?

    I have an account there, just for fun things and so on. So I uploaded a video (music thing) yesterday, and put in the discription, that I was feeling angry laltley, because
    my friend was bugging me about being friends again with someone. I just briefly wrote what happend (not many details, no names, places) and actually no one should know I
    had this Youtube Account nor should anyone find it, there were no personal informations (just my first name), no places, faces etc.

    But I was wrong.

    My friend just wrote me over whatsapp, that she should deliver a message.

    It turned out to be a harrassing message from this person.
    He found my account, saw it, and got really angry.
    Therefore, I told my friend why the hell whe was writing me that...

    She said she was sorry, she said he was soooo sad about all that happend and that we should mabye talk about this, and she just delievered the message.
    I should be happy about the fact, that she took out the reallt harrasing parts.
    Still everything sounded like it was my fault and it was really mean.

    I had to delete several of my accounts, since I was afraid he knew I had them.

    I had this problem with him once, were he would always asks me why I wasn't writing him, since I was writing someone else, or why I'd lied about
    being shopping since I was home...

    It still scares me...

    My friend tried to reason with me it wasn;t her fault...
    it wasn't her friends fault...
    He is just a poor little guy, we should talk, and I would overreact...

    I got angry, never answered her messages...

    But the thing is, I'm scared, since he knows what I'm doing.
    I believe that he didn't know this account here, hopefully...

    So I need a opinion on this, about what should I do about this sitiuation.

    Love to all of you,

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Blacky if this person makes you uncomfortable do NOT start talking to him again ok You need to feel safe in your space and your friends should understand y ou need to not talk to him

    change your acct if you can so he cannot harass you hugs
  3. MisterBGone


    Hey Blacky! It sure sounds to me like this guy is nothing but bad news for you. I could not imagine why your friend would want to put you in the uncomfortable position of being his friend again. Especially if she fully understands why it was so traumatizing in the first place. She may have some strange motivation or hidden agenda there...perhaps to get on his good side? And who on Earth knows what his reasons are for wanting to be a part of your life again? It could be that he feels bitter over the way you rejected him, and he then wants to correct or change this. Such as becoming your friend once again, slowly sucking you in, only to turn on you & then leave you high and dry so that he can get his revenge. Or maybe he's just obsessed with you. A scary thought indeed! I can come up with several scenarios or possibilities, but you want to know what? Based on the description of him that you've given, I'm having a heck of a time coming up with a good reason. One that will have a positive outcome for you. I see only negative effects, truthfully... Ask yourself this, when you first think of him - this person - what is your immediate reaction? In other words, what emotion or feeling first comes to mind? Trust your gut--your instincts & go with that. You don't owe your friend (the one who wants you to do her this favor) anything! Believe me.:)
  4. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    @total eclipse
    Thanks for the opinion. I don't wanna talk to him, but "our" friend is just so obsessed with us being friends again... I blocked her for the moment, so I don't get spammend, it's such a sad thing. Thanks though :) and for the birthday wishes :D

    What I feel when he first comes to my mind?
    I'm actually really really scared that he gets angry or so... I personally don't think that there'll be a positive outcome :/
    Thanks for the opinion, I'll really appreciate it :)
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Dont talk to or associate with anybody you do not want to - period. If it is not a situation like work where you have to deal with a on professional level - then simply do not do it. Tell this other friend "NO- I will not be talking to them or hanging out with them- you do what you like and so will I" -and how it falls is how it falls- but there is no such thing as friends for somebody else benefit- there would never be trust and would just be uncomfortable. If they cannot deal with that then they are not your friend anyway. This is not 1st or second grade where the popular person gets to decide who is going to be friends with who- if they are still that immature you are better without them in life as well.
  6. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the reply, my friend is actually kinda angry at me now, but I explained it to her and I can't do anything anymore, I just leave it like that. I'll not gonna talk to him :)
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