"Minor relapse", concerned...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Little_me, Apr 19, 2010.

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  1. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    I have improved drastically over the last few months. I have no suicidal thoughts, and I don't consider myself to be depressed anymore. My eating disorder is nearly gone... But it is still some of it left, apparently, it showed off today for the first time since January.
    My body is perfect now, I have reached a healthy weight and I have curves again (just like I should have). I'm happy with that. Instead of anorexia- keeping a low weight- I want to keep this far more healthier weight, but today I went too far on that point also....
    I was sick last week, therefore I probably gained weight as fatty snacks was my only intake during this time. Today I felt the urge to compensate and had just a small slice of bread with peanut butter in the morning. I skipped lunch at school and, when finally home, I binged chips and brownies. I cannot recall the last time I binged... It was so so long ago. I was so exhausted, drained of energy, there was nothing left when I came home today. I fell asleep the first I did after the binge, my mother found me sleeping in the sofa with popcorn inside my shirt. And now I feel awful again just like before... Skipping lunch was the straw that broke the camel's back, I guess, but why did I do it then?

    Why do I still feel the need to compensate, what might be the reason? I don't feel fat, I like my body now, I'm just so confused! What can I do to keep this behavior under control? I do not want to relapse again, that would be so horrible... I really don't want to. I feel failed, I've had the best time in years these months and now I slipped.
    I thought I was done with this but I was not :cry:
     
  2. jenniferelaine

    jenniferelaine Well-Known Member

    I liken ED's to addiction. I don't think you ever completely get over them, but you live in a constant state of recovery.

    You're going to have up and down days, everyone does. It's okay, and the important thing is to not beat yourself up too badly when you have a bad day. Focus on having a better one tomorrow.
     
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