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minutes away

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i know most of the people on this sight are just here to let off some steam and even thou the majority of you have at some stage felt an urge or at best a contemplation to attempt suicide, your intention is really to tell someone how horrible life has treated you and through it all you have come out of it all that much the stronger. well i just want to say i hope you can face the world knowing that you've turned your back on it once before yet here you remain. i have kept a close eye on this site the past few months, being on the verge of endless attempts and hospitalizations and have came to realize that even the damdest of souls can find refuge but alas it is not here, to the predators i say shame on you and to the vulnerable i ask not to bleat your worries to a stranger like a stray lamb, i myself have taken an xxxx there is no returning and in an attempt to distract my mind of worry i am trying to depart what little knowledge i have, my liver is so damaged from 0previous attempts, that there is little doctors can do for me, if i could have my time again i would advice everybody here to reaccess the miracle that is your life and ask yourself could you as easily wish death upon someone you hate as much as you could grant life to someone you love? the answer is, enjoy your life whilst you can for there may not be a morrow.

i bid you all a fond farewell.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
llew i hope you go into doctor s NOW okay you do not know what new meds will come that may help you heal Take this time now to go to hospital call crisis line and get help okay just do it llew like you say enjoy you time living now before god does take you get help hun


Active Member
I pray that you have taken whatever steps were needed to take care of yourself. . that in your dispair came enought light to get you the care you so despirately need. .


Well-Known Member
Ilew - I hope you can still read this mate.

I'm sorry you have spent so long here and not opened up that much - and if anyone here has hurt you - I don't think its intentional but I'm not going to dismiss what you say and if that's your experience, its not my job to say its otherwise.

All I can say is that depression plays havoc with emotions sometimes. I always kept things to myself because that part of me is private. But - when I came here - I did open up - and reached out to someone - who is helping me work on my flaw.

But just because we have depression it does not mean we will all 'click' and become best friends. However - we can treat each other with respect which is something many do not get - well for being depressed we get no kudos.

As for predators - I'm not naive - sure someone twisted enough could try and predate on people here - but if you made one complaint it would be treated VERY seriously. I'm a single guy so am aware of those dynamics. Most people here do not know me - some know me very well - and I'd cheerfully put my photo up but - lets face - that's a brave thing to do! Or reckless!

And for the vulnerable bleating like lambs - well its a fact of life that vulnerable people - in particular women - but guys also - might do something reckless - like meet someone they barely know.

But this can happen anywhere.

For all the faults you may find - I still think this forum is a life saver for many people - there are checks and balances here - but its voluntary and not easy with so many people joining. Some may not be genuine - sure - but even so - anyone who came her to cause discord and hurt - would be gone fairly fast - rightfully so.

But bear in mind - with depression - many things can hurt us - and the people doing it might not realise what they are doing.

Like children tormenting some kid who is different - only FAR worse because kids have to go through that process - we all hurt someone - at some point - and I've done the same - but I got to say hand on heart - I don't think a living soul out there has met me - got on with me - and fell out.

But I'm not assuming that and certain people I know I'll treat with extreme kindness because I feel good when others feel good.

So I'm sorry as hell you had some experience - and have not outlined it which would be useful. Maybe you have elsewhere and I'll read to see.

you say we should re-access the miracle that is our lives - I agree - but I'd like you to practice what you preach and at least get help for this overdose.

You also say "could you as easily wish death upon someone you hate as much as you could grant life to someone you love?"

I have wished death on people I hated - but its wrong and I don't want to do that. But granting life to those you love - I'd die for that if such a deal could be cut - but it cannot be cut - there is no deal like that for us. Its hard I know - but living is the only way you can be there for those you love now and those who you have yet to meet.

Hope this helps - will write more but will look at what you have said so far.



Well-Known Member
It is hard to make the choice to live, harder then making a choice to die. But I'm glad I'm still here. I have two kids I need to stick around for. Even if I can't get to the point that I stop suffering from the disease I have, I would still hope I can manage to stay alive and work through this.

As far as opening up to a stranger, I've had more repect here with what I am going through, than with anyone I know. I appreciate that support. It is kind of difficult for me to be on here regularly with my health issues, but I push myself into doing it.. It's not because I want to cry, it's because I want to be supportive also. It's because I care. I know there are plenty of people on here that do. They are giving up their free time to do this. We don't have to be here..

Think about it. If you pull through this, I hope you come back and find some help in this forum.
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