minutes into months

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shoshana, May 31, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Shoshana

    Shoshana Member

    sometimes time really stretches out in front of me, and i'm overwhelmed by the sight of all those moments to be spent alone with myself.

    i can't even remember the last time i fell into the future without even realizing it, and saw the people and the places as they came.

    after my dad died i just sat back and started watching. i haven't been able to stop. how do you stop seeing death in everything? where is the peace in life?


    maybe if people just talked about death more, and how life really is fucking random and bizarre. that would help.
     
  2. chewbacca

    chewbacca Well-Known Member

    hah it really is random bizzare and futile. um. yeah.
     
  3. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Then let's talk about death, and how fucking random and bizarre life is. I wholeheartedly agree. How do you feel about it?
     
  4. chewbacca

    chewbacca Well-Known Member

    I feel like this species is standing on its very border of ... I dont know what, what I know that we certainly weren't 'made' to see, know and feel things that we do. It's like you told a hamster to write a poem.

    'Life' or culture to be more precise has a very hard (and harsh) demands on something that is basically .... an animal.... I so wish this civilization would vanish so we can start a new a get back to the neanderthal primitive times...... OOOOOGAAAH!!! EEEEEGAAAH! BOOOOOGAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
     
  5. Shoshana

    Shoshana Member

    to be honest i feel peaceful about death. it's like a glowing thread that connects us all. and i don't want to kill myself, but suicide keeps appearing in my head, like whales coming up for air. it's probably a bad idea,

    but i think about it every day.

    i wish i thrived on happiness .i'm more "the forest at night" then "the desert in day". and i like the idea of forever,and life is certainly not that.

    fire to ash, pit to plum, skin to bone. Is it wrong to find comfort in the change endings bring? the in and out of lungs filling with earth. I think about how heaven *might* be a place where mere existence is useful. where i can give my eyes to the beetle and my hair to the bird and spread myself thin like paste. Stuck to everything.

    obviously not now. when i die. which could be any day... tomorrow or in eighty years...which is great, not knowing and not caring... you know?
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.