I don't even remember the last time I saw myself in the mirror or in a picture. I just can't look to myself, I feel bad and ashamed to see such a miserable creature. It's really hard to me when I need to shave or cut my own hair but I manage to do it even without looking at the mirror. I do take pictures but I can't look at it, a blur my vision, I look at another direction or say something else to avoid looking at me, I just can't. I wanted to look to myself again and feel proud of what I see, but I just hate myself. I feel miserable, I can't even cry of saddiness and don't know why. I want to be normal.