I wish I'd never existed. In retrospect my life has been a constant battle with anxiety, depression and panic attacks. I've spent most of the time trying to fix myself and others. Just doesn't make sense any more. I'm tired of the constant battle and see no light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. I'm alone anyway and have no family except my dog, who's been more of a friend than anyone to me. The last person who cared about me passed away last year and it's been a downward spiral since. Even writing this looks like the epitome of self pity, so be it......I don't know how else to feel. If only there were a timeline on this pain, if only I could see an end to it, but I don't. Each day seems worse than before with the occasional short(hours) reprieve. I'm tired of trying to act like everything is okay and wearing a mask for others to see. I don't want to burden others with my dark feelings, most wouldn't understand anyway. I'm just tired and weary.