I have hardly gone out for more than two weeks. Officially it was because I had a chest infection but the reality is that I just to hide away. I am sleeping so much, or sometimes not sleeping all night and then sleeping most of the day. I cant be bothered bathing or getting dressed. Because I didn't sleep on sunday night but slept of Monday so I took some sleeping tablets on Monday night so I could sleep ready for work on Tuesday. Except I slept until 3.30 pm today and failed to get to work. I'm so scared about the consequences and so scared that I won't make it tomorrow. I just want to stay here in this numb state. I feel so bleak and scared and I don't know what to do. I was cutting (superficially) last night before I went to sleep. The pain tells me I am alive but I don't want to be. I just want life to go away.