I'm feeling exceptionally down today. I really don't know how to help myself anymore. I have no support. I had a terrible day today, was supposed to go shopping at target to get the things I needed. I opened up my car door and accidentally hit the car next to us in their rear view mirror..luckily no damage was done, and no one noticed.. but instantly ruined my ability to go into the store, and I sat inside the car while my 'bf' and his son went in for awhile. I just felt defeated. I later ate crappy taco bell and my stomach feels off from it.. I can't stop obsessing about my past trauma lately, from the therapy. It is difficult to go this as a loner and have no one but the therapist to lean on. I probably need to get hopped up on medication to help me cope with these feelings that are ruining my livelihood. I really don't WANT to live anymore if 'this' is it for me. Life is stale. I don't feel good. My life is truly messed up, and been messed with I don't think I can repair myself. I will try alittle longer. but I honestly am fighting for my life right now.