Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by arteb, Jun 11, 2010.

  1. arteb

    arteb Member

    I currently feel like shit. I'm all alone. I hate my OCD. No one gives a shit about me. I'm gonna die all alone, without ever having been really loved by anyone. But, I don't deserve it anyway. I just fuck everything up. Always. I hate the day I was born. I'm just an enormous failure. I can see why my parents hate me and are ashamed of me. I can see why my father says me I'm such a bad and unpleasant person. I'm sure he thinks I'm the worst thing that ever happened to him. I needed to vent.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Can I join you? Then neither of us will have to feel so alone. Cant say it'll make things any better. If you want to talk, I'm listening. :arms:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Keep venting okay keep getting the pain out okay so others can help so you can breath a little easier I hope venting takes that pain away for you
  4. arteb

    arteb Member

    Hey. Thanks a lot. I am so empty and alone. I have to apologize for existing. I know I don't deserve anything good. Sometimes the anxiety takes hold of me because I know I don't deserve anything and I'm a waste and a failure and I get the feeling I can't and don't deserve to look anyone in the eye. I am so ashamed I exist and am the person I am. I'm shit. I'm sorry. I have to say that to everyone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I exist. I'm sorry you ever bumped into me for whatever reason. I'm sorry you're forced to deal with me. I need to cut. I have to punish myself. I'm sorry.
  5. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Hey! Parents can be harsh, especially if they do not know what it is like to truly hurt. Keep your head up no matter what.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Arteb, you don't have anything to apologise for :hug: You sound like your self esteem is incredibly low. Have you considered therapy? It can really help to build it up.
    Keep posting if it helps x
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I agree with music...cognitive behaviour therapy is very helpful when you are so down on yourself.....
    I hope you stay and talk to us more..take care