Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by flyboymike, Dec 18, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. flyboymike

    flyboymike New Member

    I'm 38 years old and am currently suffering from severe depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Part of me would like to commit suicide because I view it as an escape from my problems but in all reality I am too afraid to kill myself. The thoughts persist though. I am broke, nearly homeless, and watching my two beautiful parents fall apart physically and mentally. It is very upsetting for me to see them like this. I know times are difficult for everyone right now but times have been hard for me my whole life. Sorry if it sounds like I'm complaining but I found this forum and I just feel like letting of some steam. How do you cope with intense feeling of despair, worthlessness and a desire to take your own life?? I really just want to be happy and help my family members. If I committed suicide I know it would shatter them.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi and welcome. glad you found us. can i ask what kind of supports you have? when you are feeling this bad it's time to rely on others, a good therapist or psychiatrist for instance. you need some extra help until you start to feel better again. have you been diagnosed with depression? are you on medication and do you feel it's working? again, welcome. keep posting, it helps to post here and know that you are not alone in fighting these desires.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...one way I think we deal with this is to share what is going on...that way we do not feel alone...and pain is not a contest...yours does not have to be discounted because there are others in pain as well...yours is equally important...welcome again, and please let us know how you are doing...big hugs, J
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i know it is hard to see the ones we love suffer deteriorate all we can do is be there for them and comfort them as i am sure you do. I am glad you are here putting a voice to what you are feeling it helps. Keep talking okay others will respond as well
  5. flyboymike

    flyboymike New Member

    Hi everyone and thank you for your support and kind wishes! Currently I have very little external support although I am do to start seeing a therapist and mot likely will start on medications soon. I am very happy though to have found this group because I feel it will provide me with an outlet and allow me to open up. And I can see clearly that there are alot of good people out there that are also suffering. I wish everyone happiness and love and lets all try and get well together!
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So glad to hear you will be seeing a therapist and have medication...that is wonderful that you will be taking care of yourself, as you deserve it...please continue to let us know how you are doing...J
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Getting well together that is what this forum is about caring people helping others Nice to have you here.
  8. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    I agree with my friend Violet.
  9. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    I can share some of my coping strategies but you'll probably have to adapt them to work for you. Unless you're into romantic novels and Belgian Chocolate in which case, they should work fine:)
    Some of my strategies might not work for you at all though. You need to work on finding the ones that work for you.

    I think the most important thing is to recognise this is an illness. - its not you being miserable or negative or failing to see the positive. Its an illness and like any other illness it is not your fault
    Many of us feel profound guilt for the trouble that we cause our families because we don't recognise that we're ill. We then fail to seek help because we feel that its our own fault anyway and we should just 'cheer up'. By recognising its an illness, we acknowledge that its something 'external' to us and we're a seperate person to the illness. (Hope that makes sense? If someone else can describe it better, please do so)
    Once you recognise its an illness, you're on the first step to recovery.
    The next step is to start talking. Preferably to a professional so I'm delighted that you'll be seeing a therapist soon. Depending on whats actually wrong with you, you'll probably be offered meds as well.
    Take the meds! I can't say that strongly enough. It may take awhile to find the right combo of meds but try to be patient during the process. The right combination will make a huge difference to the quality of your life.
    Keep a mood journal You can do this in the diary section of the forum if you don't want a notebook at home. I prefer notebooks myself because I decorate them when I'm in a good mood.
    Write down how you're feeling. If you're not up to writing do a 'sad face/happy face' instead. This way you can track your moods. Depression tends to come in waves/circles. You sink down into one and then have to climb out of it again. Sometimes it feels like you never actually climb out. Mood journals help you see that you did have the odd good day.
    Learn your triggers This is a very individual thing. We're all triggered by different things although somethings probably affect most of us - like the holidays. You need to learn what yours are so you can avoid them or use a coping strategy.
    Learn some coping strategies Again, these are different for everyone. They can be as simple as taking 3 proper deep breaths. By that I mean you have to breathe through your nose for the count of 9 (or as much as you can but work up to 9) and breathe out slowly through your mouth for the count of 9. This will help to calm you down if you're anxious as long as you do it properly.
    Other coping strategies depend on the circumstances. I hit the romantic novels and belgian chocolates for a couple of days if I'm really bad just to clear my head and think of silly happy things for awhile.
    There are lots of other suggestions that we can make but you have to take one step at a time. You also have to recognise that the road to recovery is slow so don't expect to get better immediately.
    Try to stay strong and keep us informed of how you're getting along. You can pm me anytime
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.