miss my mother fucking suicidal thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wastedmylife, Nov 5, 2008.

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  1. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I have to promise my therapist I wont kill myself and I probably wont kill myself as long as I promised , but I wish I had that option, next time I probably wont agree to it, there is nothing my therapist can do, all the guilt lies on me, I dont see how I can go in this shape I am in
     
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling. It's a way out. Without suicidal thoughts, there is NO WAY OUT... It's overwhelming.
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Wastedmylife,
    I know they make you promise all the time. They wouldn't let me out of the hospital each time unless I would promise not to harm myself and if I get that way to readmit myself. I don't know why they do that, they treat you like all of a sudden you are healed!!! Hell when I got out of the hospital I was just as depressed as when I went in!!
    I have found a good therapist who helps quite a bit. She also made me promise. Sure she helps in some respects but the suicidal thoughts are there on a dailey basis. I just have to set them aside and tell myself NOT TODAY!! here lately it is getting harder to keep that promise. I just recently had somethings happen and I decided that it is time to go. I currently am trying to straighten the thoughts out, but I fear it is to no avail. I dropped my guard and got F***ed because of what my sister told my doctor. If they don't change there minds then that is all she wrote it will be time to go!!
    Don't let my rant bring you down. I have had fifteen years of fighting this shit. I still feel like I did when all this shit hit me years ago. I have been living on borrowed time.I hold no hatred towards anyone(except one person here on the forum). Please seek the help you need now. You are still young to make a change in your thinking!!Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  4. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I had to promise a doctor at work that I wouldn't do it. Then as soon as I left I made an attempt and my note I wrote an apology for not keeping my promise. I really hate that when they make you promise, it is so stupid!!!!!! Are you going to suddenly be in the middle of an attempt and say "oh I have to stop, I just realised that I promised,". Today someone asked what keeps me going? I get so sick of that question that I now say "because I haven't found a method that I like".
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Maybe now, you can focus on making your life better instead of suicidal thoughts?
     
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